Read This: Fractured by Karin Slaughter

Title: Fractured

Author: Karin Slaughter

Pages: 388 pages

Rating: 4 stars

“See this with abused children sometimes, where, as a form of self-defense, they’ve learned to read mood and nuance better than the typical child. They absorb an incredible amount of blame to keep the peace. They are the ultimate survivors.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

When Atlanta housewife Abigail Campano comes home unexpectedly one afternoon, she walks into a nightmare. A broken window, a bloody footprint on the stairs, and, most devastating of all, the horrifying sight of her teenage daughter lying dead on the landing, a man standing over her with a bloody knife. The struggle which follows changes Abigail’s life forever.

When the local police make a misjudgment which not only threatens the investigation but places a young girl’s life in danger, the case is handed over to Special Agent Will Trent of the Criminal Apprehension Team – paired with detective Faith Mitchell, a woman who resents him from their first meeting.

But in the relentless heat of a Georgia summer, Will and Faith realize that they must work together to find the brutal killer who has targeted one of Atlanta’s wealthiest, most privileged communities – before it’s too late…

“You don’t kidnap somebody if you love them. They come to you. They choose you. Not the other way around.”

My Thoughts:

Will Trent is quickly becoming one of my favorite literary characters. Will is masculine and brave yet sort of fragile. He is such a compelling character and is so beautifully written. He continues to grow from one story to the next and I can’t wait to continue learning more about Will.

I love Karin Slaughter’s writing; since discovering her books in 2019 I have read close to 10 of the books she has written and they never disappoint. She is an author who doesn’t sugarcoat anything who doesn’t shy away from graphic descriptions. These depictions are always part of the story and blended perfectly into the tale that she is weaving, she doesn’t use gore simply as a plot device. Anytime I pick up a book by its author I know that I am in for a wild ride and am prepared to be shocked and awed in some way.

Definitely Read This: A Curse So Dark And Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

I love a good retelling and this one did not disappoint!

“I am always surprised to discover that when the world seems darkest, there exists the greatest opportunity for light.”

The thing about retellings is that they can get a bit redundant but this is so different then any I’ve read before. One thing that has always been missing from Beauty and the Beast retellings is getting to see things from the beast’s point of view and in this, we get to see things as Rhen does and I just love that. This was the perfect combination of contemporary with magical realism and high fantasy. The way this author was able to take our reality and blend it into this other dimension and build this whole new world was spectacular. The writing in this is so so good honestly.

“We are all dealt a hand at birth. A good hand can ultimately lose – just as a poor hand can win – but we must all play the cards the fate deals. The choices we face may not be the choices we want, but they are choices nonetheless.”

This book has a little bit of everything; romance, found family, fantasy elements, magical elements, disability rep, contemporary elements, and nods to the fairytale that we all know and love.

I honestly loved Harper. While internally, she does see her illness as a weakness so often she doesn’t let that show on the outside. She is able to push past those thoughts and still be so brave, kind, and caring. Even when she knows everything that she has left behind in DC she doesn’t allow that to stop her from helping the people of Emberfall; she puts her own needs aside to help the people.

“Failure isn’t absolute, just because you couldn’t save everyone doesn’t mean you didn’t save anyone.”

While I’m not the biggest fan of love triangles I did love the added element of Grey and Harper’s relationship. When reading this first book I did kind of ship Harper and Grey more than Harper and Rhen but now that I’ve read the subsequent books in the series I much prefer how things ended up going; I guess the author knew a little bit more than I did. LOL

Grey has become one of my favorite literary characters ever and I am so glad that we have gotten chapters from his perspective in the next books. I love him so much.

I enjoyed this so much that I hadn’t even finished A Curse So Dark and Lonely before I was requesting A Heart So Fierce And Broken (book 2 in the Cursebreakers series) from the library.

This is one that I will most definitely read over and over, I highly highly recommend this entire series!

Maybe Read This- The Companion by Katie Alender

Title: The Companion

Author: Katie Alender

Publisher: Putnam’s Sons

Pages: 449

Rating: 4 stars

Goodreads Synopsis:

The other orphans say Margot is lucky. Lucky to survive the horrible accident that killed her family. Lucky to have her own room because she wakes up screaming every night.

And finally, lucky to be chosen by a prestigious family to live at their remote country estate.

But it wasn’t luck that made the Suttons rescue Margot from her bleak existence at the group home. Margot was hand-picked to be a companion to their silent, mysterious daughter, Agatha. At first, helping with Agatha – and getting to know her handsome older brother – seems much better than the group home. But soon, the isolated, gothic house begins playing tricks on Margot’s mind, making her question everything she believes about the Suttons… and herself.

Margot’s bad dreams may have stopped when she came to live with Agatha – but the real nightmare has just begun.

My Thoughts:

While not one of the best mystery/thrillers I’ve ever read, this was fairly entertaining. It was a quick read and held my attention throughout. I did find it to be pretty predictable though, it was pretty clear early on what was happening and in what direction the story was headed. The expectation of what was coming didn’t ruin the story for me though. If anything it made it more intriguing because I wanted to know the how’s and why’s.

The best part of this book to me was the writing. The author did a great job of setting up the atmosphere of this large creepy home and truly made me feel what the characters were feeling; Margot’s grief over the death of her family was palpable and relatable.

I do feel that the book dragged on a bit longer than it really needed to. The romance was absolutely unnecessary. The author used it as a way to drag the plot forward and to kind of segue into the second half of the book when things take a turn for the worse for Margot. But, I think the story was already clearly headed that way naturally and the insta-love of the two characters was not needed.

Honestly, my biggest fault with this book was that there were a couple of characters who were just unnecessary or who really weren’t as developed as they should have been. Barrett could have been removed from the story altogether and it really wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Agatha could have just as easily been an only child and it would have still worked. The point of girl’s being these sinful creatures could have been executed without having Barrett there as the model of male superiority. Also, It seemed as though Barret was included solely as a romantic pairing for Margot and it just wasn’t a necessary part of the plot.

Also, the father was a complete throw-away character (I don’t even remember his name). I understand the attempt at depicting him as the father who has kind of checked out of his family and who is unable to handle his daughter’s illness. But, this character could have been written so much better. I don’t see how he could have had no idea whatsoever what was happening in his own home. Also, he liked disappears halfway through the book and is never referenced again. Like what happened to him? Where was he when all of these things were happening to his children and everything came to a head?

Overall, I did enjoy this, There were definitely some creepy, hair-raising moments and the author did a great job of capturing the atmosphere and the essence of the majority of her characters.

Maybe Read This: Phoenix Flame

Title: Phoenix Flame

Author: Sara Holland

Publisher: Bloomsbury

Pages: 272 pages

Rating: 3 stars

Goodreads Synopsis:

Maddie thought her problems were over. She saved the Inn at Havenfall—a sanctuary between magical worlds—from the evil Silver Prince. Her uncle the Innkeeper is recovering from a mysterious spell that left him not quite human. And there are still a few weeks of summer left to spend with her more-than-friend Brekken.

But there’s more work to be done to protect the Inn—Maddie must put an end to the black-market trading of magical objects and open the Inn’s doors to the once feared land of shapeshifters.

As she tries to accomplish both seemingly impossible tasks, Maddie uncovers secrets that could change everything. What if saving everyone means destroying the only home she’s known?

My Thoughts:

Phoenix Flame picks up where the second book in the series Haven Fall left off. I enjoyed Haven Fall much more than I did its sequel.

Honestly, it could be because I am over love triangles. Which is by no means a reflection on this book or its author. What I do take issue with is that the love triangle in this story is never resolved. I could have gotten over the love triangle trope if it had been worth it. But, it wasn’t there was no end result, which just made it pointless. It was just used as a tool to drive the plot and never came to an end.

One of the things that I disliked about both books was that both felt rushed at times. Because of this, the love triangle wasn’t the only plot-hole left unresolved.

What I loved most is that this duology is a story about growth and acceptance. It’s about familial relationships, loss, and grief. The main character Maddie had great character development throughout the two books and this is honestly one of the most unique worlds I’ve ever read about. I just think that the execution could have been better.

Definitely Read This: Perfect On Paper by Sophie Gonzales

Publisher: Wednesday Books

Pages: 304

Rating: 3 stars

“It’s when bisexuals start to believe the biphobia they’re surrounded by. We’re told that our sexuality isn’t real, or that we’re straight if we’re with another gender, and that our feelings don’t count if we’ve never dated a certain gender, that kind of crap. Then we hear it so many times we doubt ourselves.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

Darcy Phillips:

• Can give you the solution to any of your relationship woes―for a fee.
• Uses her power for good. Most of the time.
• Really cannot stand Alexander Brougham.
• Has maybe not the best judgement when it comes to her best friend, Brooke…who is in love with someone else.
• Does not appreciate being blackmailed.

However, when Brougham catches her in the act of collecting letters from locker 89―out of which she’s been running her questionably legal, anonymous relationship advice service―that’s exactly what happens. In exchange for keeping her secret, Darcy begrudgingly agrees to become his personal dating coach―at a generous hourly rate, at least. The goal? To help him win his ex-girlfriend back.

Darcy has a good reason to keep her identity secret. If word gets out that she’s behind the locker, some things she’s not proud of will come to light, and there’s a good chance Brooke will never speak to her again.

Okay, so all she has to do is help an entitled, bratty, (annoyingly hot) guy win over a girl who’s already fallen for him once? What could go wrong?

My Thoughts:

This book made me feel all of the good things. It is fun and full of drama but in the best way. So many books play up the whole miss-communication, assume the other person doesn’t like you back trope and this book does have some of that but it didn’t feel like it was over done.

This book has a little bit of everything. There’s romance, friendship, familial relationships, hilarity and really great writing. And not to mention the representation!

Darcy is your typical teenager in the sense that she is a little rash and makes some bad decisions but that’s what our teenage years are for.

I honestly loved the premise of this. I loved that Darcy has spent the majority of her high school days running an anonyous relationship advice business. DON’T WE WISH WE HAD HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I loved that Darcy isn’t just giving out advice to her peers irresponsibly, her responses are well thought out and researched, she knows what she is doing.

I didn’t agree with all of the decisions that Darcy made but that just made her more likeable. It made her more relatable and authentic.

It’s not often that I like every single character in a book, but this was an exception to the rule. Gonzales’ brought us such relatable, real, and well flushed out characters in this.

I really enjoyed this one!

Read This: All That We Carried by Erin Bartels

Title: All That We Carried

Author: Erin Bartels

Publisher: Revell

Pages: 352 pages

Rating: 4 stars

Goodreads Synopsis:

Estranged sisters embark on a hiking trip on the tenth anniversary of their parents’ deaths in an attempt to reconnect. In the wilderness of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula they’ll face their deepest fears, question their most dearly held beliefs, and begin to see that perhaps the best way to move forward is the one way they had never considered.

My Thoughts:

Thanks to Revell for the eARC of this book!

As someone with 6 siblings this book was so relatable and honest. These relationships that grow and develop with us throughout our whole lives are tenuous and easily strained. Olivia and Melanie’s story show us how close siblings can be even when polar opposites and how easily that closeness can turn into a chasm that neither knows how to cross.

I can’t imagine what the strain of losing a parent would do to any relationship let alone the one between siblings; grief is such a personal thing, we all experience it, feel it, and deal with it differently.

I loved how this story took such a detailed look at Melanie and Olivia’s differences, not only when it comes to grief but in their thought processes and personalities. The author was able to highlight their differences in communication style and willingness to put themselves out there.

A major premise of the book is that 10 years after their parents death the two sisters go on a hike together in an attempt to reconnect. I’ve never done this type of full on hike before and I felt like I was right there in it, the writing was beautiful and the descriptions perfect.

Overall, I rather enjoyed this book!

Definitely Read This: You Have A Match by Emma Lord

*An Advanced Reader Copy of this book was provided to me by Wednesday books in exchange for an honest review.*

Publisher: Wednesday Books

Pages: 320 pages

Rating: 5 stars

“And I’m about as Type B as they come. I have no interest in arguing, or confrontation in general. Give me the wrong scoop of ice cream? I’ll eat it. Sneak into my room and cut the sleeves off my red sweater for your Spider Man costume? Shit happens.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

When Abby signs up for a DNA service, it’s mainly to give her friend and secret love interest, Leo, a nudge. After all, she knows who she is already: Avid photographer. Injury-prone tree climber. Best friend to Leo and Connie…although ever since the B.E.I. (Big Embarrassing Incident) with Leo, things have been awkward on that front.

But she didn’t know she’s a younger sister.

When the DNA service reveals Abby has a secret sister, shimmery-haired Instagram star Savannah Tully, it’s hard to believe they’re from the same planet, never mind the same parents—especially considering Savannah, queen of green smoothies, is only a year and a half older than Abby herself.

The logical course of action? Meet up at summer camp (obviously) and figure out why Abby’s parents gave Savvy up for adoption. But there are complications: Savvy is a rigid rule-follower and total narc. Leo is the camp’s co-chef, putting Abby’s growing feelings for him on blast. And her parents have a secret that threatens to unravel everything.

But part of life is showing up, leaning in, and learning to fit all your awkward pieces together. Because sometimes, the hardest things can also be the best ones.

“He loved a good adventure, was every bit as impulsive, had embarrassing stories that rival mine. I could tell him the truthiest truths of me, the good the bad and the “I’m pretty sure I threw away my retainer and it’s somewhere in sixty bags of garbage behind the school gym” levels of ugly, without ever getting the sense that I was disappointing him.”

My Thoughts:

I read Tweet Cute by Emma Lord around this time last year and loved it. So when I received this ARC I was fairly certain that this was going to be a 5 star read for me and it did not disappoint. I am so thankful to Wednesday Books for sending me this one; I received the approval through Netgalley originally and was so so excited and then about had a heart attack when a physical book showed up on my doorstep.

This book has a little bit of everything; sibling dynamic, friendships, parent and child dynamics, old school campy vibes, romance, loss of a loved one, grief, anxiety, conflict avoidance, photography, culinary, arts, coffee… literally almost anything you could ask for in a book this one has.

This books is a roller coaster ride, it makes you feel every emotion possible while also being funny and relevant and raw. I haven’t read a book that brought me to tears several times in years. This book has so much heart and emotion and just hits you right in the feels.

I felt so seen reading this book. I identified so much with the main character Abbey. While she is definitely more of a Dare Devil then I am, her tendency to avoid conflict at all costs really hit home.

I loved the character development in this book and the fact that a good portion of it takes place at a summer camp. This also reminded me so much of The Parent Trap which I found so fun and unique.

My favorite thing about Tweet Cute was how relatable and current it was and Emma continued that trend in her 2nd book. I think at this point it is safe to say that I will pick up any book she writes.

This was absolutely another home run by Emma Lord and I cannot wait to see what else she has in store for us in the future.

Best Reads of 2020 by Month

While I may not have hit my reading goal for the year, I did manage to read over 80 books so I am counting it as a win, Here are the best books from each month.

January

This is by far one of the most uniquely formatted books I ever read. The story of Illuminae is told through a collection of hacked documents — including emails, maps, files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more. The story itself kept me on the tips of my toes throughout and served as a reminder that we only have one planet so we should treat her right.

February

I had no idea what to expect when I started this book and quickly became worried that it would be a flop when I realized that it involved a very weird love traingle.

Luckily things turned around and this book turned out to be phenomenal. I absolutely loved it. I’m not going to lie, there were some parts of the book that I found to be problematic and unnecessary. Namely, the romance. This book is pretty long and the love triangle didn’t bring anything to the story.

March

While not a five star read I did really enjoy Ninth House .Leigh Bardugo was able to take a paranormal book and turn it into something with heart and raw authenticity. This book is about unspeakable abuse, it’s about trauma, PTSD, and healing.

April

I can’t believe that this book is considered a middle grade. The author did such a great job of blending a story about something unspeakably sad such as the loss of a parent and the hope that comes as life goes on.

May

From early on in this book you know that it is going to be heart breaking. As someone who reads a lot of historical fiction I went into this expecting another typical story set within WWII. But this book is anything but typical.

June

I love that this is a middle-grade book. These are the exact kind of stories that our youth and children need to be exposed to. The relationships in this story are beautiful and hopeful and the representation and diversity are perfect.

July

I received The Suicide House as an ARC and did not know what to expect but this was a pleasant surprise.

August

The friendship dynamics in this book, the found family, the banter and sarcastic personalities were everything for me.

Another ARC that blew my mind. This book is equal parts hopeful and sorrowful. It is crazy to think that it is based off of true stories and that women are actually being taken from their home countries and being sold into prostitution and drug dens.

September

These books abcolutely took 2020 by storm for me. I read the first book in the series and read the next 4 books and 2 sequels in the series within the span of a month.

October

A Amittyville Horror type story, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time and what made this one for me was the ending.

November

While not the best book I read in 2020, this one was a much better story from Alex North.

December

This was one of my most anticipated reads for 2021 and I am so so thankful that I received an ARC. This was everything I wanted in Emma Lord’s next book and did not disappoint in any way.

Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021

I’m going to be honest, with everything that has happened in 2020 I couldn’t even tell you what my Word of the Year was. I know that I started off the year with goals related to my Bookstagram page and my blog, that I had aspirations of getting a promotion within the HR field, and that Nick and I began the year with hopes of adopting a child. This year seems to have flown by while simultaneously being the longest, weirdest year of my life.

It would be wrong of me to begin a wrap up of 2020 without first giving thanks and saying how blessed I and those around me have been. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a crappy year, we have been hit with some heavy blows and we are not blind to how others around us are suffering but all in all my family and I have been so very lucky and things could have been so much worse. Among the bad there have been moments of immeasurable good.

For Nick and I the year began with us making the decision to begin the process of working with the Department of Family Services to foster a child with the hopes of eventually adopting. After 3 years of navigating unexplained infertility we started this year hopeful and ready to grow our family. This ended up not working out due to unforeseen circumstances not having to do with COVID. We hope to explore this option again in the future once things settle down.

On the whole January and the majority of February took place as usual; we celebrated our 12 year anniversary on News Years Eve, navigated the craziness of the beginning of the year at both of our jobs, celebrated Valentines Day and we getting ready to begin the final stages of planning for our Disney cruise in August with 11 other family members. During this time we also found out that my grand-father had been diagnosed with colon cancer and would begin chemo and radiation treatment. One of our many blessings of the year is that given the gravity of his illness, the potential for horrible side effects and the fear of battling Cancer during a global pandemic he came out on the other side relatively unscathed and thankfully Cancer free.

I wish that I could say that it was my faith that got me through all of the ups and downs of this year but honestly I would be lying if I did. Maybe, that makes me a bad Christian, I think it just makes me human.

That’s not to say that my faith hasn’t been huge part of my life this year because it has. But, in all honesty my saving grace in 2020 came from the last place I would have ever expected, it came to me in the form of a 7 member Korean boyband.

I know, I know some of you are rolling your eyes or have now decided to not read the rest of this blog post. But, it would literally be impossible for me to discuss 2020 without discussing BTS. I have spent the majority of my adulthood feeling disconnected from the world around me; whether because of lingering traumas from my childhood, my introverted nature or my general anxiousness but I’d never felt fully at peace or able to live in the moment.

That changed when I discovered BTS. I have never felt more heard, seen, understood, self-confident or at peace in my life.

I recently read an article about BTS in Esquire magazine and it is the closest to the true essence of BTS that I think anyone has come. It said “Sometimes there is a whole universe alongside your own, bursting with color you’re too stubborn to see, bouncing with joy you think is for someone else, with a beat you thought you were finished dancing to.”

In everything that they do, in everything that they are BTS shines only love and light. They are somehow able to talk about dark, meaningful subjects while also discussing how to overcome those very things. They are 7 young men who have overcome insurmountable odds, who radiate nothing but kindness, love and humbleness. Each with their own personality and strengths these men have done nothing but inspire me, teach me and show me how to be a better person each in their own distictive way. Kim Namjoon has taught me what maturity is and what it means to be a leader, Kim Seokjin has taught me that there is nothing wrong with being self-confident, Min Yoongi has shown me what it means to be brave and hardworking, Jung Hoseok has taught me to look at the bright side of every situation, Park Jimin has shown us what it means to love and value those around you, Kim Taehyung has shown me it’s ok to be yourself and that there is nothing wrong with doing what you love and Jeon Jungkook taught me to always do my best. BTS has taught me to never give up, to love and accept myself and to reach for my dreams.

Since discovering BTS in February I have become more forgiving, more confident, more willing to take risks, more creative and have more self-love then I have in longer than I can even remember.

But above all else, through BTS I have received the one thing in 2020 that I needed more than anything, something that I had been praying for for so long…friendship. I have made more friends through this community than I have in years. Friendship is not something that has ever really come easily to me, especially in my adult years. With a personality that is simultaneously shy and overtly needy, I’ve never really been able to establish and sustain a meaningful, long term friendship. I saw a quote the other day that said that sometimes you meet someone who is a once-in-a-lifetime find that you need to hold on tightly to. Through social media and because of BTS I can say with certainty and insurmountable happiness that I have met that kind of person. We have become fast friends gushing daily over our shared love for BTS and reading, talking about all aspects of life, laughing and crying together, and sharing eerily similar personalities. Of all the good things to come out of 2020 my friendship with Rae is easily the best, the answer to a long time prayer.

On March 14th I was suddenly called into work for a meeting with my boss. Being that it was a Saturday and I worked in an HR office that had only every operated on weekdays I knew that something bad was happening. I spent the next 3 and a half months partially on paid leave and partially working from home. It’s hard to remember that everything happens for a reason and to have faith when you are right in the thick of it. But God has given me this reminder over and over this year. When I was let go from my HR position after more than 7 years with the company we were instantly fearful that I would be unable to find a new position and that we would quickly burn through our savings. But God showed us his faithfulness over and over again during these months. With unemployment being the joke that it is and the amount of people looking for jobs being astronomical we weren’t sure what was going to happen. But continually over those 2 months that I wasn’t working we were blessed with unforeseen funds and financial assistance. By the grace of God we were able to make it through that time without unemployment assistance and without having to take more than $1000 from our savings.

But the biggest blessing came in the form of my new job, God indeed knew where he was leading me. For years I have been praying for a job that would allow me to work from home and finally thanks to my new position with United Health Care that has been made a reality. When I was let go from Station Casinos in August I had no idea that God would use this situation to lead me down a path that I had been praying about for years.

This year has shown me over and over again that good can come out of every situation. That even a year as bittersweet at this one can end with so many good memories. It has by no means been an easy year but it has been a good one and I am so grateful for that.

Every year for the last several years I have chosen a word to guide my goals and actions for the year and 2021 will be no different. I accomplished so many things in 2020 and I want to go into 2021 with that same sense of purpose, ambition and creativity.

My word for 2021 is Bulletproof. In using this word in 2021 I will block out stereotypes, criticism, and the expectations of others and be true to who I am and learn to love myself.

December 2020 TBR

Guys, I cannot believe that it is already December! The end of the year is here! In a last ditch effort to hit my Goodreads goal for the year I have put A LOT of books on this months TBR. Will I read all these?…Probably not. But there are some great books on here so I plan on getting to all of these eventually even if it isn’t this month.

So without further ado…

1. 25 Days ‘Til Christmas by Poppy Alexander: I am honestly not sure what this one is about but I have a feeling that it will be a Hallmark Christmas movie in book format.

2. Love & Other Train Wrecks by Leak Konen: I believe this one is about a man and a woman who are on a train that ends up derailing or crashing and they end up stuck aboard the train, and love ensues.

3. Hiddensee by Gregory Maguire: The only thing I know about this one is that this is a Nutcracker retelling written by the author of Wicked…and that’s all I need to know.

4. Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares: Honestly, I have no idea what this one is about but the cover is beautiful. This was a recommendation that I got from a Booktuber so I really hope that this lives up to the hype.

5. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott: This is one of the only physical books that I have on this months TBR. I have had this same copy of Little Women for as long as I can remember and have read it countless times.

6. The Winter People by Jennifer McMahon: The only thing I know about this one is that it is a mystery/thriller set in a cold climate and that just sounded perfect to me.

7. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey: This was another recommendation from a booktuber. This one is about a couple who is unable to have a child of their own so they create one from snow. If you’ve been around here for a while than you know that infertility has been a part of my life for several years now, so I have a feeling that this one will hit close to home.

8. The Christmasaurus by Tom Fletcher: If you have not heard of the Fletcher siblings from the UK you are missing out; Tom, the author of this book, is the lead singer for the band McFly and has written several other books over the years. Tom’s younger sister Carrie Hope Fletcher is also an author of several books and is an actress on The West End in London. I have been watching Carrie’s Youtube channel for several years and keep hearing about this book on her channel.

9. Snow & Rose by Emily Winfield Martin: I don’t know much about this one but the cover is beautiful and it was another recommendation from Youtube.

10. The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg: This is one of my favorite holiday movies but I have actually never read the book. I figured it was time.

11. The House In The Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune: This book has been all over Bookstagram and Booktube and has been getting a bunch of hype so I figured I would check it out.

12. The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker: I assume that this one is a Eat, Pray, Love type narrative about a woman who travels to find herself.

13. Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella: This is another book that has been popular on social media lately. I assume that this is another cheesy Hallmark type story but I mean who doesn’t love those this time of year?!

14. Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah: I read a lot of historical fiction and have loved every book I have read by Kristin Hannah. I believe this one is part historical fiction part contemporary and has dual timelines.

15. Becoming by Michelle Obama: This was one of my top reads of 2019. Something I like to do is re-read books in different formats so I will be reading this in ebook rather than audiobook this go around. Michelle is such a beautiful role-model and her eloquent writing makes for the perfect book.

16. The Afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand: This is a Christmas Carol re-telling and another re-read for me. I read this in December of 2019 and really enjoyed it.

17. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: This is one book that I have to read every year at this time, it just screams Christmas to me.

I apologize that my descriptions for these books aren’t more in depth and well developed but as you can probably tell I like to go into books as blind as possible. I want to know as little about a book as possible before I pick it up. I have linked the Goodreads for each book so that if oyu would like a full synopsis you have it right at your fingertips.

Thank you for checking out my blog and I hope that you have a great month.

Definitely Read This: Horrid by Katrina Leno

Title: Horrid

Author: Katrina Leno

Publisher: Little, Brown Books

Pages: 336 pages

Rating: 4 stars

“I think the important thing to realize, to try and remember, is that grief doesn’t have a rule book. You’re allowed to feel every emotion under the sun. You’re even allowed to invent new ones. I think I’ve done that a few times”

Goodreads Synopsis:

Following her father’s death, Jane North-Robinson and her mom move from sunny California to the dreary, dilapidated old house in Maine where her mother grew up. All they want is a fresh start, but behind North Manor’s doors lurks a history that leaves them feeling more alone…and more tormented.

As the cold New England autumn arrives, and Jane settles in to her new home, she finds solace in old books and memories of her dad. She steadily begins making new friends, but also faces bullying from the resident “bad seed,” struggling to tamp down her own worst nature in response. Jane’s mom also seems to be spiraling with the return of her childhood home, but she won’t reveal why. Then Jane discovers that the “storage room” her mom has kept locked isn’t for storage at all–it’s a little girl’s bedroom, left untouched for years and not quite as empty of inhabitants as it appears….

Is it grief? Mental illness? Or something more…horrid?

“If her father were here, he would have found the tape and taken the book from Jane to mend it. He would have said there was nothing sad about a book with a few dings in it. That was how you knew it had been enjoyed.”

My Thoughts:

I am pretty sure that this book was on everyone’s October TBR and it’s no surprise why. I went into this one totally blind and was not let down. I really liked this. It is the perfect, spooky, Fall read.

This the first book by Katrina Leno that I have read and I will definitely be picking up more books by her. This was so deep and introspective and is such an interesting take on mental illness and grief. Grief can manifest itself so differently for everyone and this books take such an in-depth look at that. I’ve never read anything like this.

I always have issues with books that have a haunted house in them because it always seems so unrealistic to me for lights to be turning on and off on their own, music playing in an empty house and all of the things happening and nobody bats and eye and finds it weird. But that’s more of a me thing, then an issue with the book itself.

This book has some very intense, goose bump inducing, heart wrenching moments and I found myself just speeding through it, wanting know where it was going to go.

Katrina Leno does not shy away from topics that aren’t talked about often and not only does she do it in this book with the look at mental illness but she also takes such a raw, realistic and relatable look at anger issues and anger management.

So much of the focus on this book has been about its plot and themes but I think I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how beautifully written this book is. As I said this was my first Katrina Leno books and I was just blown away by her prose and her writing style.

I did see the twist coming fairly early on and I honestly did not love the ending but other than that I thought that this book was so so good.

Mini Review: In A Holidaze by Christina Lauren

ARC provided by Gallery Books through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

“I’ve essentially handed my heart over to the person who’s had it on reserve for half my life, and I’m terrified that he doesn’t realize what he’s holding.”

Everyone was comparing this book to a combination of Love Actually and Groundhog Day and that is exactly what it is. I read this entire book in less than 12 hours and I enjoyed it so much. This is the second or third book that I have read by this author and this one was by far the most enjoyable.

I read this in September and absolutely loved the heartwarming Christmas-y vibes. This book was everything I was looking for; it was refreshing, funny, relatable and had the perfect amount of smut for this type of book.

Honestly, this book is just so cozy, heart-warming and everything you could want in a holiday read!

October 2020 TBR

This crazy crazy year has just completely flown by. I cannot belive that it is already October and that we are entering the last part of 2020. With everyting going on, this has not been my best reading year and I am several books behind on my reading goal for the year. But, I am hoping to fix that this month. I’m not going to lie, this tbr is very ambitious. I am easing myself into the month and reminding myself that this tbr is just a guidline and that I don’t HAVE TO get to all of these.

1. Horrid by Katrina Leno – I have heard such great things about this book from Bookstagrammers and Booktubers who’s opinions I hold in pretty high regard, so I am super excited to start it. The Owlcrate edition that I received of this book absolutely gorgeous as well!

2. Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia – This book seems to be on everyone’s TBR this month. From what I have seen of the reviews on Goodreads, I think this ones going to be a good read.

3. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd-Jones – I don’t know pretty much anything about this book, honestly. I have found that I really enjoy going into books fairly or completely blind and being surprised. But I know that I have seen this one floating around a lot as well.

4. House of Salt and Sorrow by Erin E. Craig – I have a vague idea of what the themes of this book are but I’m not 100%. I remember hearing a lot about it in the past though and being really intrigued. Also, this is my favorite copy of a book that I have ever gotten from Owlcrate. The cover is gorgeous and is a like velvety texture, it’s amazing.

5. She’s Too Pretty To Burn by Wendy Heard – This is an ARC I received through Netgalley from Macmillan’s Children’s Publishing Group. I don’t know much about this one either. But, I am excited to start it and blessed to have been approved from the advanced copy.

6. The Haunting of Beatrix Greene by Rachel Hakins – I know nothing about this book. But the title and cover make it perfect for this time of year.

7. Witchy by Ariel Slamet Ries – This is a graphic novel which I don’t typically read a lot of. But, this came in one of my Owlcrate boxes and I figured this was the perfect time to give it a try.

8. Every Last Secret by A. R. Torre – This is another Netgalley ARC that I was approved for by Thomas & Mercer publishing. I haven’t heard a lot about this one as far as the synopsis goes but I have seen it circulating around.

9. Every Other Day by Jennifer Lynn Barnes – This was actually on my TBR for September but when I realized that it was a Paranormal Fantasy I decided to save it for October.

10. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness – This was on one of my TBR’s over the summer but I never got around to it. I had actually forgotten about it until my best friend mentioned it the other day and I decided to put it on this months.

11. Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi – I started this series last month and absolutely devoured the first two books (and novella). They are so so good and I am looking forward to continuing on in this world and getting to know these characters. I am sure that I will end up reading the subsequent books as well but there is so much on this TBR already that I didn’t want to “officially” include them all.

12. Home Before Dark by Riley Sager – The Last Riley Sager book I read was Lock Every Door which I really enjoyed. So, I am hoping that this going to be just as good.

13. The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco – I have had this one on my TBR for more than a year now but just never seem to get to it.

14. The Shadows by Alex North – I read The Whisper Man by Alex North earlier in the year and thought that it was ok. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. Hopefully this read will be better.

15. Burn Our Bodies Down by Rory Power – I was so excited when I received this ARC from Netgalley through Random House Publishing. Wilder Girls by Rory Powers was one of my favorite books that I read in 2019 so I cannot wait to get to this one.

16. Bruise by Neal Shusterman – Honestly, I have no clue what this is about. It popped up on my library app as available so I decided to give it a try. I chose it specifically because Neal Shusterman is the author; his Arc of the Scythe series is one of my all tie favorites.

17. The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings movies are my all time favorites and I have been meaning to get to these for years.

Well there you have it! My super long probably unrealistic TBR for October. What are you reading this month?

September 2020- Reading Wrap Up

I read 11 books in September for a total of 3,651 pages. I had 5 five-star reads which is pretty unheard of. This is probably the best reading month, enjoyment wise, that I have had all year. I discovered an amazing series and a few new favorite authors.

Here is a wrap up of all of my books for the month:

The Lost Wonderland Diaries by Scott Savage- 5 stars

“Stories were where I discovered I wasn’t alone. It sounds stupid saying it out loud, but books gave me the friends I didn’t have anywhere else.”

*Advanced Reader Copy provided to me by Shadow Mountain Publishing for an honest review*

This middle grade book was so good. How could I not enjoy a book that starts off in a library and then goes into a book?

In A Holidaze by Christina Lauren – 5 stars

“I ask the universe, simply: Can you show me what will make me happy?”

*Advanced Reader Copy provided to me by Gallery Books for an honest review*

I enjoyed this one so much that I stayed up until 2am finishing it. I enjoyed this so much more than I did Christina Lauren’s other books. This was witty, funny, a bit smutty entertaining, heartwarming and well written. I have a large family and it is my dream to have a family Christmas in a log cabin in the snow. So the setting of this book was just perfect.

The Winner’s Curse by Marie Rutkoski- 4 stars 

“Isn’t that what stories do, make real things fake, and fake things real?”

According to the Goodreads reviews this series is pretty polarizing, people either love it or hate. This book was recommended to me by my best friend who loves it and she did not disappoint. I really enjoyed it. I did think that the second half was far better than the first.

The Winner’s Crime by Marie Rutkoski- 4 stars 

“If you won’t be my friend, you’ll regret being my enemy.”

I enjoyed the second book in this series a lot more than the first. The slow burn romance between Arin and Kestrel is so pure and realistic that you forget that you’re reading a book.

Crocodile On The Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters- 4 stars

“I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle…. Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband?”

These books were written back on the 1970s and honestly it shows. But, I really enjoyed them. They’re a combination of Sherlock Holmes meets The Mummy. Amelia Peabody refuses to be a proper lady and be the vulnerable, weaker gender that social norms try to make her out to be.

The Curse of the Pharaohs by Elizabeth Peters- 4 stars

“Most men are reasonably useful in a crisis. The difficulty lies in convincing them that the situation has reached a critical point.”

Honestly, these books are all very similar; some calamity happens causing a big mystery and Amelia and Emerson has to solve said mystery.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell- 5 stars

“Holding Eleanor’s hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive.” 

This book swept me right off my feet. It was beautifully written, heart warming while still being completely heart wrenching. So many aspects of this book were reminiscent of my own childhood and experiences in school and were just completely relatable.

Shatter Me, Destroy Me and Unravel Me by Tahereh Mafi- 5 stars

I can’t believe that I waited this long to get to this series. I had been hearing about it for years but just kept putting it off and now I regret that decision so much. These are so good. The fact that the dystopian society in this world doesn’t seem all that far off from ours is a little scary.

Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan- 5 stars

“We’re all monsters, Nadya, some of us just hide it better than others.”

Another book that has been sitting on my shelves for months that I should have gotten to a long time ago. This book has everything; beautiful, lyrical writing, the Russian inspired cold atmosphere, and the beautiful themes. Not to mention the found family aspect, which I LOVE!

Definitely Read This: Havenfall by Sara Holland

Title: Havenfall

Author: Sara Holland

Publisher: Bloomsbury YA

Pages: 305

Rating: 4 stars

Goodreads Synopsis:

Hidden deep in the mountains of Colorado lies the Inn at Havenfall, a sanctuary that connects ancient worlds—each with its own magic. For generations, the inn has protected all who seek refuge within its walls, and any who disrupt the peace can never return.

For Maddie Morrow, summers at the inn are more than a chance to experience this magic firsthand. Havenfall is an escape from reality, where her mother sits on death row accused of murdering Maddie’s brother. It’s where Maddie fell in love with handsome Fiorden soldier Brekken. And it’s where one day she hopes to inherit the role of Innkeeper from her beloved uncle.

But this summer, the impossible happens—a dead body is found, shattering everything the inn stands for. With Brekken missing, her uncle gravely injured, and a dangerous creature on the loose, Maddie suddenly finds herself responsible for the safety of everyone in Havenfall. She’ll do anything to uncover the truth, even if it means working together with an alluring new staffer, Taya, who seems to know more than she’s letting on. As dark secrets are revealed about the inn itself, one thing becomes clear to Maddie—no one can be trusted, and no one is safe…

“Not the girl who feels constantly scraped raw by the cruel words that have sunk through my skin and nestled in my heart, braiding with the poisoned strands of lingering memories to create something heavy, dense and thorny.”

My Thoughts:

World-Building:

I have come to realize that I love books that start off with an explanation of the world whether it’s explaining the magic system, lands within the world, character groups or anything else. I love having these explanations at the beginning, clear cut and easily accessible.

In Havenfall’s case this explanation introduces the “adjacent realms” within the story; Fiordenkill, Byrn, Solaria, and Haven. While I did enjoy this first book in the series I hope that in the subsequent book(s) we get to spend more time within these other realms.

In writing this story Holland not only built this vast, multi-layered world but she had to develop an entire hierarchy, political system and governing documents.

One aspect of this story is that there are certain realms that have been sealed off over the centuries. I am so intrigued by these; I not only want to know about the realms that are still open but I would love to have other books based on these sealed off realms.

Magic System:

The magic system in this is so cleverly written and developed. The doorways into each different realm is governed by this magic. This magic is more stable during the summer and every year on the solstice, all the realms come into some sort of alignment. When aligned a sort of thread runs through all the worlds that allows large numbers of people to pass through the doorways. At other times, they’re less safe- people crossing through can cause strange charges in the air of Haven, or make the ground tremble.

“You have more happy memories than scary ones, don’t you? Why give the scary ones so much space in your head?”

Characters:

Honestly the biggest thing that I disliked about this story was the lack of character development. I love a book that has in depth world building but I don’t think that characters should suffer because of it, there needs to be a healthy balance of both.

Maddie- At the beginning I really enjoyed Maddie as a main character. She had drive and ambition and was a survivor. But as the story went on she just made bad decision after bad decision and so much of the book ended up being her own internal monologues and it just didn’t work for me. By the end of the book, I couldn’t stand her.

The first part of the book is all Maddie talking about how she has to get back to Haven because it’s her destiny to be the next Innkeeper and how she has been preparing for this her whole life but then when the opportunity presents itself and it is time for her to step up, she completely fails and all she does is act like a scared child.

“There’s a very specific kind of splintering that comes with seeing people you trust fall short or fall apart.”

There’s this part about half way through the book where Maddie goes on this tangent about how hard it is when the people you trust let you down and listed how every person in her life had let her down. This just bugged me so much. She continually plays the victim throughout the book, ignoring the fact that when it came time for her to step up and take charge for the people around her, she didn’t.

There are 305 pages in this book and it took Maddie until page 253 to step up and take control.

Brekken- We only see Brekken at the beginning and end of the book, I wish that we had gotten more of him. Honestly, I would have rather he be the main character. I would have much preferred for the story to focus more on the Fantasy aspects than the Contemporary “in Haven” aspects.

The Silver Prince- He almost reminds me of Cardan from Holly Black’s The Folk of the Air series. With his cunning, intelligence, and ability to always be 2 steps ahead.

“Heavenfall is our secret. You both must always protect it… Soon, she’ll give her life to protect that secret. And sometimes I feel like she’s already given her soul.”

Representation:

While I may not have liked the way that Maddie handled herself, Havenfall has such good representation and depictions of PTSD and trauma. Maddie’s survival’s guilt and confused memories are honest and raw.

While Maddie’s sexual orientation is not explicitly stated, there is reference to her being attracted to one of the other girls staying at the Inn.

Would I recommend:

While it wasn’t perfect, I would definitely recommend Havenfall for anyone who enjoys in-depth world building. I love a book that keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. While I would classify this book as a fantasy, not a mystery, there are so many lines weaving through the story and leaving so many possibilities open that it almost reads as a mystery. I love when a story is written in a way that leaves you speculating the whole way through but then still surprises you at the end.

“Like a cross between a Horcrux and Aladdin’s magic lamp, only with monsters instead of genies.”

Any book that references Harry Potter and a Disney movie automatically wins in my opinion.

Blog Tour-ARC Review: The Mall by Megan McCafferty

Title: The Mall 

Author: Megan McCafferty

Publisher: St. Martin’s Press/Wednesday Books

Pages: 320

Rating:

 

“And for the first time all summer, The Mall was exactly where I wanted to be.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

The year is 1991. Scrunchies, mixtapes and 90210 are, like, totally fresh. Cassie Worthy is psyched to spend the summer after graduation working at the Parkway Center Mall. In six weeks, she and her boyfriend head off to college in NYC to fulfill The Plan: higher education and happily ever after.

But you know what they say about the best laid plans…

Set entirely in a classic “monument to consumerism,” the novel follows Cassie as she finds friendship, love, and ultimately herself, in the most unexpected of places. Megan McCafferty, beloved New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series, takes readers on an epic trip back in time to The Mall.

 

“In six weeks, I’d be packing up all my stuff and getting the hell out of Pineville. But until then, my life at The Mall would really, really suck.”

My Thoughts: 

The Mall is such a fun and nostalgic, quirky and fast paced read. I went into this one pretty blind so I didn’t really know what I was getting into when I got invited to be a part of this blog tour but it was so fun going back to the 90’s with this one. 

This book is a walk straight down memory lane right into my childhood. There are so many pop-culture references through out that make this such a fun read. 

I really enjoyed the wit and sarcasam of the story and the characters but I went through the entirety of the story feeling like something was missing and in the end it just didn’t really deliver what I needed it to. 

So even though it wasn’t in any way bad… it wasn’t great either. Hence the 3 stars. 

Definitely Read This: Martin McLean Middle School Queen by Alyssa Zaczek

**Advance Review Copy of this book provided by Sterling Children’s Publishing for an honest review** 

“So who cares who you love? What matters is that you do love.”

Goodreads Synopsis

Seventh-grader Martin McLean has always been surrounded by people who can express themselves. His mother is an artist, his colorful Tío Billy works in theater, and his best friends Carmen and Pickle are outgoing and don’t care what other people think. But Martin can only find the right words when he’s answering a problem at a Mathletes competition—until his tío introduces him to the world of drag. In a swirl of sequins and stilettos, Martin creates his fabulous drag queen alter ego, Lottie León.

As Lottie, he is braver than he’s ever been; but as Martin, he doesn’t have the guts to tell anyone outside of his family about her. Not Carmen and Pickle, not his Mathletes teammates, and definitely not Chris, an eighth-grader who gives Martin butterflies. When Martin discovers that his first-ever drag show is the same night as the most important Mathletes tournament, he realizes that he can only pull off both appearances by revealing his true self to his friends—and channeling his inner drag superstar.

 

My Thoughts

This may very well end up being my favorite book of 2020!

This book is everything that we need in these troubling times. Trust me, do yourself a favor and pick this one up! 

This story is heart-warming, hopeful, funny, and beautifully written. It’s honest and relatable and so so full of diversity and representation. This book literally has everything from family dynamics, to beautiful friendships, found family and young teenagers growing and coming into themselves in the most beautiful way. 

Not to mention that this book features a Cuban family, which is not something that I see often, and as someone with Cuban heritage I am so so thankful that we are represented so well in this book. 

This book is perfect for kids and adults alike! These are exactly the types of books we need to be reading and promoting and maybe just maybe we can clear some of the fear, hatred, and ignorance out of our society. 

Embassy Of The Dead by Will Mabbitt

This ARC was provided by Netgalley and Orion Children’s Publishing for an honest review. 

Good Reads Synopsis: 

Welcome to the Embassy of the Dead. Leave your life at the door. (Thanks.)

When Jake opens a strange box containing a severed finger, he accidentally summons a grim reaper to drag him to the Eternal Void (yep, it’s as fatal as it sounds) and now he’s running for his life! But luckily Jake isn’t alone – he can see and speak to ghosts.

Jake and his deadly gang (well dead, at least) – Stiffkey the undertaker, hockey stick-wielding, Cora, and Zorro the ghost fox – have one mission: find the Embassy of the Dead and seek protection. But the Embassy has troubles of its own and may not be the safe haven Jake is hoping for . . . 

 

My Thoughts:

While I’ve read other middle grades that I enjoyed more than this one, this was a cute little book. A little spooky given the subject matter, but the story is still fun and quirky. 

This story offers perfectly spooky characters and setting and is well and whimsically written. 

I really enjoyed Jake as the main character. He is a brave, adventurous kid who finds himself among the World of the Dead. He meets some new fun friends along the way and changes the trajectory of his life.

While I think this book may have been a little “young” for my tastes, I imagine that any child would love and thoroughly enjoy it. This is precisely the type of book I would have loved at that age. 

Read This- You by Caroline Kepnes

“They’re in their own world, where good things happen, a quarter mile and a million light years away.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

When a beautiful aspiring writer strides into the East Village bookstore where Joe Goldberg works, he does what anyone would do: he Googles the name on her credit card.

There is only one Guinevere Beck in New York City. She has a public Facebook account and Tweets incessantly, telling Joe everything he needs to know: she is simply Beck to her friends, she went to Brown University, she lives on Bank Street, and she’ll be at a bar in Brooklyn tonight—the perfect place for a “chance” meeting.

As Joe invisibly and obsessively takes control of Beck’s life, he orchestrates a series of events to ensure Beck finds herself in his waiting arms. Moving from stalker to boyfriend, Joe transforms himself into Beck’s perfect man, all while quietly removing the obstacles that stand in their way—even if it means murder.

My Thought:

I had seen so many reviews saying that this book needed to be listened to in audio so that is what I did, and it did not disappoint! If I wasn’t already married this book would have made me suspicious and wary of every guy I ever met.

I tried to read spoiler free reviews so that I could go in relatively blind and that’s exactly what happened, I had no idea what to expect. This is book is creepy, cringe worthy and straight up scary. It highlights the worst of humanity and how blind we can be to it even when it is right in front of our faces.

What makes this so good and so unique is that You is told in second person. This means that the Stalker, the main protagonist is stalking you. It makes the book so much more spooky and eerie.

 

“That’s why you leave the windows open. You don’t know how to be alone with yourself. And if you block out the world, there you’d be.”

This was so so well written and there are so many parts that are just goose-bump inducing.

The only reason I gave this a 4 star instead of 5 is because I genuinely disliked every character in this book. Obviously you are not meant to like Joe but I just felt like everyone was unlikable.

How I Stay Calm When Dealing With Anxiety

Anxiety is something that I am fairly familiar with. For the most part I am a fairly easy going and laid back person. But it doesn’t take much to push me over the line from calm into anxious and uneasy.

I am an inherent people pleaser and hate knowing that I am letting anyone down and/or disappointing them. Pair that with a serious dislike for confrontation and it can lead to some pretty difficult situations. I’m slowly learning that it is okay for me to say no and that in most situations it’s just not that serious.

On top of my need to people please, I also get pretty bad social anxiety. I HATE speaking in public and almost always feel that spike of fear when speaking in front of a group of people, even my own friends and family. To me, being the center of attention and having all eyes on me is pretty much a nightmare.

This social anxiety reared it head last week when I was told that I would have to participate in a meeting at work and defend the company’s decision in terminating someone’s employment. I was given two days’ notice and very little information in order to prep myself.

 

I know that there are so many people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks so I thought that this week I would share the things that I do to help me stay calm in these instances.

 

Take A Deep Breath

Ok, so I know that this is super basic but it really does help. The aforementioned meeting was set up much like a trail in court and I was basically being called in as a witness for the company which meant that I had to sit in a room by myself for about 20 minutes before being called in to give my ‘testimony”. I spent the entirety of those 20 minutes doing just this, taking deep breaths.

Take a big deep breath in slowly through your nose. Hold it for a moment, then release through your mouth just as slowly. Do this a few times to slow your mind and your heart rate.

 

Get Outside

So this may not always be doable. But if you can make it happen, I guarantee that it will help. Not only will you be able to breathe in the fresh air but natural light will automatically improve your mood. Take a few minutes, clear your head, and relax.

 

Review and Reflect

This is a big one for me. When I get into those anxious moods, my mind always wants to take me to the worst case scenario. I always make the situation so much bigger than it actually is.

Taking a moment to reflect helps me put things into perspective. I give myself time to take a step back from the situation and ask myself “What is actually happening? Is it actually as big a deal as I am making it?” and I then ask myself “If this goes badly is it going to have a serious effect on the rest of my life or is it just going to cause me a little bit of discomfort? Is someone going to die, is it the end of the world?” Of course, it is never as serious as all that.

When I put it into perspective in that way and remind myself that whatever is happening will either be over soon or will not have a lasting effect on my life, I am able to separate my emotions from the actual facts.

 

Crying It Out

Everyone is different, so stress and anxiety may not effect you the same way is does me. When I get anxious or have something unexpected sprung on me, my body’s first reaction is to start crying. When I feel overwhelmed, that is the first thing that happens.

I can’t tell you how many times I have ended up in the back file room of our office in tears because I am feeling overwhelmed and/or anxious about something. And there isn’t anything inherently wrong with that (if it’s happening every single day than further action may be necessary) but for the most part there’s nothing wrong with needing to cry.

Crying is a perfectly reasonable response to any emotion including anxiousness and stress. Just take a moment for yourself, allow yourself to feel what you need to, take some deep breathes and move on. Usually just this step alone helps me process and embrace what I am feeling and allows to use the rest of these steps to move on .

 

Focus On The Rest

Any situation or moment that is causing you anxiety can feel like it is the only thing in the world that matters or like there will never be anything else after it but you have to remind yourself that that isn’t true; you have already lived an entire life worth of experiences and will continue to do so once this situation is over. But there will be more. Life is full of moments and chances. And more will come.

 

Write That Shit Down

I’ve always enjoyed writing and for most of my life have had some type of journal. Over the years I’ve learned that writing things down can immediately relieve some stress. Writing something down on a piece of paper immediately makes what you’re experiencing and feeling tangible and allows you to process and organize your thoughts.

 

Talk It Out

I cannot tell you how important it is to have someone to vent to; whether it’s your spouse, your coworker, a family member or your best friend. Having someone to remind you that it isn’t the end of the world, that it will all be okay and that you are capable of doing this is invaluable. I would have been even more stressed out about this meeting had I not had my friend to talk me through and remind me that I could do it and that she was rooting for me.

If you’re feeling anxious about something, reach out to someone and talk it out.

 

Keep Moving Forward

Again, remember that what your currently experiencing and feeling probably isn’t the end of the world. This day will end and a new one will begin and that’s really the best advice there is; just take it one day at a time, eventually the time for the scary meeting or presentation will come and go. Learn what you can from this experience and than move on to the next.

 

Definitely Read This: The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

“He is not elegant enough for a sonnett, too well-thought-out for a free write, taking too much space in my thoughts to ever be a haiku.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

A young girl in Harlem discovers slam poetry as a way to understand her mother’s religion and her own relationship to the world. The debut novel of renowned slam poet Elizabeth Acevedo.

Xiomara Batista feels unheard and unable to hide in her Harlem neighborhood. Ever since her body grew into curves, she has learned to let her fists and her fierceness do the talking.

But Xiomara has plenty she wants to say, and she pours all her frustration and passion onto the pages of a leather notebook, reciting the words to herself like prayers—especially after she catches feelings for a boy in her bio class named Aman, who her family can never know about. With Mami’s determination to force her daughter to obey the laws of the church, Xiomara understands that her thoughts are best kept to herself.

So when she is invited to join her school’s slam poetry club, she doesn’t know how she could ever attend without her mami finding out, much less speak her words out loud. But still, she can’t stop thinking about performing her poems.

Because in the face of a world that may not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to be silent.

“Freedom seems like such a big word. Something too big; maybe like a skyscraper I’ve glimpsed from the foot of the building but never been invited to climb.”

My Thoughts:

Before reading The Poet X I had never read a book told through prose before and because I don’t typically enjoy poetry I wasn’t sure if I would like this. But I listened to the audiobook of The Poet X and I am so so glad that I did. This book is beautifully crafted and Elizabeth Acevedo is a genius and incredibly gifted. 

 Going into this book I had no idea that I was in for such a raw, honest look at religion, adolescence, Hispanic households, and family ties. This is an own-voices book for the Hispanic rep and Acevedo actually narrates the audiobook herself which I love. 

This book is so real and honest to a fault and so relatable. So many times while listening to this audiobook did I find myself nodding my head in agreement and understand exactly what Acevedo was saying. 

“I am the baby fat that settled into D-cups and swinging hips so that the boys who called me a whale in middle school now ask me to send them pictures of myself in a thong.”

This may be one of the most relatable quotes I’ve ever read in a book. 

This book tackles so many important topics but in such a lyrical and elegant way. Acevedo talks about body image and acceptance, rape culture, self- love, abuse, religion, and the place that women have in it, homophobia, bigotry and so much more. 

If you have read any of my other posts on this blog then you know that I am a religious person. But that doesn’t mean that I agree with how religion is portrayed and executed in our broken world. 

As someone who has dealt with sexual abuse in my life and subsequent difficulties trusting men, there is a quote about religion in this book that just hit me so hard. 

When I’m told to have faith in the father, the son, in men – and men are the first ones to make me feel so small.

This line was just mind-blowing and so thought-provoking and caused me to really take a look at myself and my own beliefs and how I project my human emotions and experiences onto my faith and vice versa UGH! it is just so good!

 

This was one of my favorite books of 2019 and I highly recommend listening to the audiobook. 

Read This: Scavenge The Stars by Tara Sim

While I did really enjoy the story, I don’t know that I would say that it is a retelling of The Count of Monte Cristo. In my opinion, this was reminiscent of the Alexander Dumas book but I don’t think that it is really a retelling.

I really enjoyed the main character Amaya/Silverfish, she has a great arc throughout the course of the story. I loved the duality of her character; it’s almost as if she has a split personality how easily she is able to switch between the characteristics of the two versions of herself. Silverfish is ruthless and fearless and shows no remorse while Amaya is almost like a scared little girl who is still grieving the loss of her parents and her home. Not to mention her eventually having to play the part of Countess Yama.

For me, Cayo truly makes this story. He is conflicted and loves his sister so much that he is willing to ruin his own life to help her when she gets sick.

This is classed as a fantasy but it didn’t really have very many fantastical elements. I don’t think that there was much world-building or changing of the world. The countries are fictitious but there isn’t much of a change from our reality except for the use of alchemy. I definitely don’t think it has as good of world-building as say Four Dead Queens.

The story ends with a bit of a plot twist. But, I really wasn’t all that surprised by it.

All in all, this was good but not anything extraordinary.

 

Definitely: Listen to This

“I haven’t killed anyone for three years and I thought that when it happened again I’d feel bad. Like an alcoholic taking a sip of whiskey. But no. Nothing. I had a blissful night’s sleep. Didn’t wake up at all. And for once, no bad dream either. This morning I feel balanced. Almost sane, for once.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

Rhiannon is your average girl next door, settled with her boyfriend and little dog…but she’s got a killer secret.

Although her childhood was haunted by a famous crime, Rhiannon’s life is normal now that her celebrity has dwindled. By day, her job as an editorial assistant is demeaning and unsatisfying. By evening, she dutifully listens to her friends’ plans for marriage and babies while secretly making a list.

A kill list.

From the man at the grocery checkout who always mishandles her apples, to the driver who cuts her off on her way to work, to the people who have it coming, Rhiannon is ready to get her revenge.

Because the girl everyone overlooks might be able to get away with murder…

 

“Isn’t it funny how people have to die before anyone lets them know what they mean to them? Well, not funny. Just stupid. I mean, they can’t hear you now, can they?”

My Thoughts:                     Rating:

 

This is one book that I am going to say that you should absolutely listen to on Audiobook.

Rhiannon our main character is an unlikable and wildly unreliable narrator. She is funny, she is crass, she is honest, she is crazy and she is clearly a sociopath.

This was my first foray into black comedy and I loved it. This book combines that black comedy with crime and a little bit of mystery and it is hilarious and bold.

While listening to Sweetpea in my car on the way to work I:

Laughed out loud
Gasped at the audacity
Secretly agreed with some of Rhiannon’s thoughts
Worried that I was understanding some of Rhiannon’s thought processes

If you are easily offended, don’t like cussing, and are put off by sexual situations, or violence then this is not the book for you. 

Sweetpea is Rhiannon’s journal, following her adventures through life. Some of the journal is told in traditional diary form talking about the things that have happened to her. But most of the journal is Rhiannon making lists of all the people she wants to kill and why. These journal entries are spot on with Rhiannon’s personality! And hugely entertaining.

I got this book as a recommendation from Harriet Rosie on Youtube and I haven’t stopped taking recommendations from her. She hasn’t let me down yet.

This book was like nothing I had ever read before and I loved it.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

“Perhaps the gods have forgotten us, or grown bored with our small corner of the kingdom. Because here I am, about to share the last thing I’d ever want to offer the King. Myself.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It’s the highest honor they could hope for…and the most demeaning. This year, there’s a ninth. And instead of paper, she’s made of fire.

In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it’s Lei they’re after — the girl with the golden eyes whose rumored beauty has piqued the king’s interest.

Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learn the skills and charm that befit a king’s consort. There, she does the unthinkable — she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world’s entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she’s willing to go for justice and revenge.

“It doesn’t matter how beautiful the cage is. It’s still a prison.”

My Thoughts:

Rating:

 

I read this book last year for a book club that I am a part of on Facebook and it had been so hyped up that I went in with very high expectations. But, as you can see I only gave it three stars.

It was good but I didn’t think it was great. I actually liked the sequel Girls of Storm and Shadow more.

A fantasy story with queer girls, demons, and half-demons, the overcoming of forced slavery, and fierce warrior girls sounded like it would be perfect! It also had some pretty heavy trigger warnings. So I went in expecting a dark, sad, heavy story blended into a fantasy setting.

And I just didn’t feel like I got that. The fantasy elements are there definitely; the world-building is great and the story itself was well written. I just think that the part of this book that is always so talked about it is the girls being the king’s concubines and I feel like that aspect wasn’t really touched that much. I think that that could have been really explored but instead, it was kind of skirted around and alluded to.

I felt like more of the story was a “slice of life” look at the girl’s lives living in the palace and not really about their forced relationships with the king.

All of the girls felt predictable to me and like they hadn’t been fully fleshed out.

I just didn’t think this book deserved as much hype as it got.

Looking Back At Our Wedding On Our Five Year Wedding Anniversary

I cannot believe that it has already been 5 years since our wedding. Although 60 months have passed, it seriously feels like it just happened! Today we are celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary together! And these days celebrating anything is looking a lot different than it usually would.

Instead of going out to a fancy restaurant or to a show on the strip we will pick up our fancy dinner and eat it here at home and have a nice movie night.

But, I also wanted to celebrate our day here by reflecting on the moments of that day and writing them down (and sharing lots of beautiful pictures of course).

I remember spending the night before our wedding, in my bridesmaid Karlie’s guest bedroom.

I had always thought that I’d be jittery and a big ball of nerves the night before my wedding. I thought that I would lie awake all night unable to sleep. But, I remember talking to Karlie as we giggled with excitement and shared the anticipation of the day to come but overall I felt ready.

I woke up early the next morning around 5:00 AM  and couldn’t fall back to sleep so I stayed laying down and unsuccessfully tried to read.

After getting up and showering Karlie and I packed up our dresses and all of our stuff and headed out to Lake Las Vegas where our wedding ceremony and reception were being held.

Our wedding ceremony wasn’t set to begin until 5pm so the next several hours were spent trying to set up ribbons and flowers outside on a windy day, checking on the reception space, trying to hide from Nick and the groomsman (who were up in a hotel room overlooking the reception area outside), taking lots and lots of pictures and laughing at my aunt (Titi Vivian) chasing away hotel guests who had decided to eat their lunch in our closed-off reception area outside.

We had a few little mishaps along the way like my hair and makeup person being almost an hour late, the hotel using our ceremony space for a wedding rehearsal two hours before our ceremony when we had already set everything up, my grandmother unknowingly talking about our Pastor being good looking without realizing that he understood Spanish, and none of us quite knowing how to tie up the corset ties on my wedding dress. Many of these little things that were distressing at the time are pretty funny to think about now.

                                                                            

My bridal party consisted of four women whom I love dearly:

 Our photographer ran back and forth between us girls and the boys upstairs taking shots of both groups getting ready and what not and she did a fabulous job capturing the day! That morning was simply sweet and fun, and I’m glad I was surrounded by so many of my beautiful and supportive friends. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to be a part of our special day!

          

These pictures of the guys getting ready are some of my favorite from the day.

            

 

                   

Once all of our hair and makeup had been done it was time to get into our dresses and get some pictures taken.

 

               

Followed by a beautiful time of prayer led by our Pastor.

                 

Finally, the guests had arrived and it was time to begin the ceremony. All of the bridal party walked out from a tunnel leading to the ceremony space and to the gazebo where our Pastor was waiting. Then it was my turn; honestly, this was the part that I had been dreading the most. I do not like being the center of attention and having all of those eyes on me for that long is pretty much my worst nightmare. But my grandfather walked me down the aisle and it went a lot quicker than it felt (partly because I was practically dragging him along because I was trying to get it over with and he kept having to hold me back, whispering for me to slow down).

The ceremony was beautiful. I walked down the aisle to an orchestral version of Music of The Night from the Phantom of the Opera. Patrick, our Pastor, has a great sense of humor and spoke beautiful words over us. We also had two of our friends from church play the guitar and sing an original song from our church’s worship band while we took communion.

After the ceremony, we took a few more pictures with family and bridal party and went right into the reception.

             

               

We had our first dance as a couple. We danced to “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran. And we all ate a delicious meal, enjoyed toasts from my Mom who was my maid of honor, and Nick’s brother who was the best man.

I had a mother-daughter dance with my mom and Nick had his dance with his. Our wedding coordinator sang a beautiful rendition of Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from The Phantom of the Opera in honor of our family members who have passed away and could not join us for our special day. Then the night continued with dancing, we all took a break to enjoy some tasty desserts and cake, I threw the bouquet and garter, and danced some more! When it was time to make our exit, we left the venue running through a flurry of bubbles and headed upstairs to our beautiful honeymoon suite.

We left married, blissfully happy, and exhausted from a long and wonderful day.

 

Disney Memories: Tutto Italia in the Italian Pavilion In EPCOT

I remember going to this restaurant so many times as a kid with my parents and siblings. Unfortunately, I haven’t visited this restaurant in more than a decade and have not visited as an adult but I definitely plan on remedying this on our next trip. I have so many fond memories here and still think about that delicious lasagna. 

I remember the dining area being very beautifully decorated and set the perfect ambiance for an Italian restaurant.  

In the same vein as Macaroni Grill or most other Italian style restaurants, your meal begins with a bread basket and olive oil for dipping. Honestly, I don’t remember whether this was tasty or not. But, it’s hard to go wrong with bread and olive oil so I am going to assume that it was.  

The main thing that I remember about this restaurant and that seems to be engrained in my memory is the Lasagna dish. I remember it being huge, cheesy, and delicious. I cannot wait to try it again. Honestly, I can’t even tell you if anyone in my family ever ordered anything other than the lasagna.  

                                       

  

After checking the menu for Tutto Italia in research for this post, I see that they do still have the lasagna on the menu along with many other delicious-looking dishes.  

Here’s to hoping that our August trip will go through and I will get to see if this restaurant holds up to my memories of it.  

  

  

 

  

Definitely Read This: The Good Daughter

“What a rapist takes from a woman is her future. The person she is going to become, who she is supposed to be, is gone. In many ways, it’s worse than murder, because he has killed that potential person, eradicated that potential life, yet she still lives and breathes, and has to figure out another way to thrive.”

 

Goodreads Synopsis:

Two girls are forced into the woods at gunpoint. One runs for her life. One is left behind.

Twenty-eight years ago, Charlotte and Samantha Quinn’s happy small-town family life was torn apart by a terrifying attack on their family home. It left their mother dead. It left their father—Pikeville’s notorious defense attorney—devastated. And it left the family fractured beyond repair, consumed by secrets from that terrible night.

Twenty-eight years later, Charlotte has followed in her father’s footsteps to become a lawyer herself—the ideal good daughter. But when violence comes to Pikeville again, and a shocking tragedy leaves the whole town traumatized, Charlotte is plunged into a nightmare. Not only is she the first witness on the scene, but it’s a case that unleashes the terrible memories she’s spent so long trying to suppress–because the shocking truth about the crime that destroyed her family nearly thirty years ago won’t stay buried forever. Packed with twists and turns, brimming with emotion and heart, The Good Daughter is fiction at its most thrilling. 

“Many people must have told you that you are lucky to be alive. I think you would have been lucky had you not been shot in the first place.”

My Thoughts:

This is quite literally the best thriller that I have ever read. I read this book more than a year ago and I still think about it. Karin Slaughter is the queen of thrillers. 

First and foremost, let me warn you that this book is not for the faint-hearted; it is violent, gory, graphic, and does not sugar coat anything.

I don’t usually do these but this book requires it. Trigger warnings for graphic rape, pedophilia, penetration using an object, graphic deaths, mention of suicide, loss of a loved one, police brutality, racist comments, hurtful, misgendering, arson, a school shooting, extreme bullying, miscarriages, grey-area cheating, and a lot of violence.

This story is extremely dark and (to put it bluntly) fucked up. But it is also so intelligently and expertly written. I have read a few other books by Karin Slaughter and none of them blew me away the way this one did. This book is a wild ride from the very beginning, it is full of plot twists, parallels, and an ending that was absolutely brutal to read. 

I don’t want to say too much about the plot because I don’t want to give anything away and this is the type of book that you absolutely want to go into blind. 

But, let me say that this is one of the best books that I have ever read. 

Choosing My Foundation In Life

“For no one can lay a foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”- 1 Corinthians 3:11

We are living in crazy, unprecedented times. This is a new experience for all of us, one that none of us saw coming. And in times of uncertainty like these, we tend to have the human response of allowing ourselves to wallow in negative emotions like fear, anxiousness, and anger. 

I am just as guilty of this as anyone. For me, it isn’t really fear of the virus. I, like most people, don’t like change and I don’t like the uncertainty of not know what is going to happen and not being in control. 

But, earlier this week I read the scripture above and it was a wake-up call for me. I am spending this time at home allowing myself to build my life on foundations of uncertainty, lack of control, and anxiety; instead of remembering who actually is in control and who the foundation of my life should always be. 

I was reminded this week that if I choose to build my life on a perfect and strong foundation than I allow the Lord to take control. If I do this than I can handle more, I can love more, I can be more of the person Christ calls me to be. I don’t have to worry about what might or might not happen. I can rest in the fact that I am not the one in control but either is anyone else in this world. 

If I choose to use things of this world as my foundation–then I will fail and I will be swept away by these negative emotions. I am only human and I can only handle so much. 

But, when I remember who is really in control and build my foundation on Him, only Him, then I have nothing to worry about and I stand on solid ground. 

And so, going forward I am choosing to walk through this season of life trying again and again (and probably failing along the way) to choose the perfect, strong foundation. Christ as my foundation is a daily choice.

 

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2 

Definitely Read This: Like Nothing Amazing Ever Happened by Emily Blejwas

DISCLAIMER: I received an e-ARC of LIKE NOTHING AMAZING EVER HAPPENED from Random House Children’s through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

“Then I just reach across the table and hugged her. In the middle of the library. Because she’s so good at saying the perfect thing and sometimes I forget I have her.”

Goodreads Synopsis:

Justin doesn’t know anything these days. Like how to walk down the halls without getting stared at. Or what to say to Jenni. Or how Phuc is already a physics genius in seventh grade. Or why Benny H. wanders around Wicapi talking to old ghosts. He doesn’t know why his mom suddenly loves church or if his older brother, Murphy, will ever play baseball again. Or if the North Stars have a shot at the playoffs. Justin doesn’t know how people can act like everything’s fine when it’s so obviously not. And most of all, he doesn’t know what really happened the night his dad died on the train tracks.

And that sucks.

But life goes on. And as it does, Justin discovers that some things are just unknowable. He learns that time and space and memory are grander and weirder than he ever thought, and that small moments can hold big things if you’re paying attention. Just like his math teacher said, even when you think you have all the information, there will be more. There is always more.

“Death does weird things to the living.” 

My thoughts:

I loved this book so much. It is so soft and so beautiful. I don’t typically love “slice of life” type books, I much more enjoy plot-driven stories. But this story was so well written and has such beautiful depictions of grief, PTSD, trauma, and life after the loss of a loved one.

This story reminds you that even though life can take some unexpected turns and come at you hard, it is still a beautiful journey and there is still so much to be thankful for.

One of my favorite parts of this story was the relationship between Justin and his older brother Murphy. Murphy takes over the role of “man of the house” and does it without complaint and does his best to be a good role model for Justin; their banter and open and honest discussions are beautiful.

This is a middle-grade book and I feel that it was a perfect look at grief and healing both for children and adults.

 

 

Free Dining Plan At Walt Disney World- Worth It?

We all hear the word “free” and immediately jump right in, right? But, is anything ever really free?

When it comes to the Disney Dining Plan, you may get the dining itself for free but you’re also (typically) required to stay at a more expensive hotel in order to qualify, so you still end up paying more.

You could ask 10 different people if the dining plan is worth it and you would get ten different answers; some people swear by it and others think it’s a ploy to get you into a more expensive hotel. As with anything we all have our opinions and its hard to define worth because what makes something “worth it” to me, may not to you.

So don’t take this as the perfect answer but this is my opinion based on my experiences using the Disney Dining Plan.

For us, the dining plan is absolutely worth it, whether “free” or not. We include the dining plan every time that we visit Walt Disney World and here is why:

• It’s just one less thing to worry about while on vacation. We like arriving on property and knowing that everything but souvenirs has been paid for. We don’t have to worry about carrying cash, we don’t have to worry about staying on budget and we know that we are guaranteed at least 2 meals and 2 snacks every day of our stay (depending on which plan we are on). All we have to do is swipe that little Magicband at the register and keep walking.

 

• We get to try restaurants we otherwise probably wouldn’t. Because of the dining plan we get to start off our Magic Kingdom day with enjoying a delicious breakfast at Be Our Guest. We always get the delicious Cronut at BoG, this entree typically costs $29! That is not something we would usually ever pay, but because we are on the dining plan, it’s included.

 

• If you know what you are doing and plan things right, the Dining Plan can help you get into the parks early.

 

• For us, I always make a reservation for Be Our Guest for early enough in the morning then we can get into the Magic Kingdom at least an hour before the park opens and we are finished with our breakfast just as the park is opening (and then make a dash straight for Seven Dwarves Mine Train while everyone else is still entering the park).  

 

• Character Dining is included. Now, this depends on the plan you are on and you may need to use more than 1 meal credit. But this is huge! A character meal typically costs $34+ for adults and $20+ for kids. If you have a large family, that cost adds up quickly. 

 

• The dining plans include alcohol. We aren’t big drinkers but I know that for people who are the cost of alcohol can add up quickly especially in Disney World where drinks typically cost $13+. 

 

• Each meal credit includes an entree, beverage, and a dessert. As I said depending on which plan you are on each person in your party gets at least two meals per day. On the dining plans, you are given a lump sum of meal credits and snack credits and they can be used interchangeably however you choose. So we have learned that it is very easy for us to get one large entree (and dessert) and split it, and we both get to eat while only using one meal credit. This allows us to stretch out those credits, and we rarely have to pay for food out of pocket while on vacation. 

 

• You get to take snacks home with you. Anyone who has used one of the Disney Dining Plans knows that you don’t typically use up all of your snack credits, especially if you have a large party. So obviously you aren’t going to let those credits go to waste. So what do you do? You buy a bunch of snacks at your resort’s gift shop before heading to the airport. 

These snacks typically cost $4-$5 but are considered a snack credit under the dining plans. So use up those leftover credits and get some snacks for the airplane!

 

Like I said some of you may agree with me on this list and some of you may not. I know there are a lot of people out there who are more analytically and mathematically minded then I am, who like to figure out exactly how much they would spend on food and then compare it to the cost of the dining plan. Personally, that’s a little too much for me. I would rather pay a little more in the long run before we ever leave on vacation and have the convenience once we arrive.

 

What do you think? Do you use the DDP, do you think it is worth it?

 

 

Read This: The Last Magician by Lisa Maxwell

“Don’t start telling yourself stories about me, Esta. I’m not some knight in shining armor. I don’t have some hidden heart of gold. I’m a bastard, in every sense of the word.”
“Who said I want you to be anything but what you are? I like your angles and your edges,” she told him, hoping he could hear the truth in her words. “I have plenty of my own, you know.”

 

GoodReads Synopsis:

In modern-day New York, magic is all but extinct. The remaining few who have an affinity for magic—the Mageus—live in the shadows, hiding who they are. Any Mageus who enters Manhattan becomes trapped by the Brink, a dark energy barrier that confines them to the island. Crossing it means losing their power—and often their lives.

Esta is a talented thief, and she’s been raised to steal magical artifacts from the sinister Order that created the Brink. With her innate ability to manipulate time, Esta can pilfer from the past, collecting these artifacts before the Order even realizes she’s there. And all of Esta’s training has been for one final job: traveling back to 1902 to steal an ancient book containing the secrets of the Order—and the Brink—before the Magician can destroy it and doom the Mageus to a hopeless future.

But Old New York is a dangerous world ruled by ruthless gangs and secret societies, a world where the very air crackles with magic. Nothing is as it seems, including the Magician himself. And for Esta to save her future, she may have to betray everyone in the past.

 

My Thoughts: 

I’m not going to lie it’s been a while since I read this book and it has taken me a lot longer than anticipated to get this review up. But here we are.

There were only a few things that really kept this from being a 5 star for me; one was the dueling timelines; it got a bit confusing for me at times. Also, there are so many characters in this story that it becomes difficult to keep track of each of them and on top of that many of them weren’t as fleshed out as I would have liked.

But there were a lot of aspects about this that I did enjoy that lead me to my 4-star review: Time travel, magic, an intricate plot, well-executed world-building, New York in the 1900s, and a slow burn romance.

The combination of magic and time travel in this is something that I think could have been messed up pretty easily; that aspect reminds a bit of Reverie by Ryan La Sala but this was executed much much better than it was in Reverie.

Honestly, I think the last 100-200 pages of this book were the best parts. There was a pretty big plot twist at the end which I definitely didn’t expect.

All in all, I would say I thought that it was good but I wasn’t completely blown away. The fact that there are two other books in the series and I haven’t picked either up says enough about my thoughts.

Breaking The Chains of Infertility

Going into this quarantine I knew that I didn’t want to spend this time sitting on my couch binge-watching every show on Netflix and napping with my dogs. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason and that God has granted us this time with a purpose. So I have spent the last 5 weeks making a To-Do List each morning and being as productive as I possibly can (with some binge-watching thrown in, if I’m being honest).

One of my goals every day has been to spend time in prayer and doing a Bible Study, which I have really been enjoying and I know has been helping me keep my sanity being stuck in the house.

Part of this morning’s reading was a passage in Philippians:

“And I want you to know dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains for Christ.” – Philippians 1:12-13

I have been using a bible study from https://shereadstruth.com/ which includes the passages to read as well as a short devotional discussing the scripture. A portion of that devotional said:

“At this point in my talk, I told the women that I had a secret. I began unbuttoning my shirt. Awkward silence filled the room. Underneath my faded, denim top I wore a white t-shirt and cold, bulky metal chains. No one had suspected that I was wearing chains, yet they were there the whole time—pinching, constraining, and weighing me down. We don’t always know the chains people are wrapped up in, do we?”

This brought me such a clear vision of how we all walk around suffering from different things (wrapped in chains) and yet those around us may never even see it. No one around us will ever know if we don’t open up our mouths and speak.

The devotional also says:

“Yet Paul is convinced that his current suffering is nothing to be ashamed of or to hide. On the contrary, he insists that his circumstances advance the gospel message. He tells the Philippians, “Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly” (Philippians 1:14 NIV). Even in jail, Paul rejoices that his guards are hearing about Jesus and that other believers are encouraged and empowered.”

Reading this scripture and this devotional got me thinking and asking myself, “Am I allowing this chain of infertility to weigh me down, am I ashamed of it or am I using these circumstances to advance the gospel message. Am I using my chains to encourage or empower anyone else?

I know it says in Romans 8:28 “And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”  I remind myself of that promise every day and know that I will get pregnant, that we will have a child, if and when God wills it and not a second before.

But are there women out there struggling with infertility who are sitting in their pain and anguish who don’t know that promise, who haven’t read that scripture? And what am I doing to bring that message to them?

Another beautiful and powerful statement in my reading this morning was:

“For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ…”- Philippians 1:20

So here I am writing this blog post. Do I enjoy talking about our infertility, about our struggle in waiting and hoping? No… I don’t. But, I never want to be ashamed and I want to be bold for Christ.

So if this post can reach even one other woman struggling with infertility and let her know that she is loved by a BIG God, that He sees her in her pain and He says in Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” 

Then I have broken that chain today and I have used what has happened to me to spread the Good News.

 

 

Life In Quarantine During the 2020 Pandemic

Life right now is a little crazy. This COVID-19 pandemic is something that no one saw coming.

Like the lyrics from a Hamilton song, we have seen our “World Turned Upside Down.” Nearly everything that we know, that is familiar to us has stopped and/or closed.

This has been especially surreal here in Vegas. This city runs on tourism and entertainment and those things are gone now. As someone who has worked in the casino industry for nearly a decade, I can tell you that these times are completely unprecedented.

I remember the first time that Nick and I heard about Coronavirus; we were watching the news before bed (like we do nearly every night) and there the newscasters were discussing a virus spreading in China. Honestly, we didn’t think that it was anything that we would ever have to worry about.

But as the days and weeks passed it grew and grew until suddenly it was like we were living in a completely different world.

If you had told me in January that not one but that every casino in Las Vegas would be closed come the end of March, I would have said that you were crazy, that it would never happen. Boy was I wrong.

Not only are the casinos closed but so is nearly every other business. We are no longer allowed to physically attend church, parks, and golf courses are closed, Lake Mead is closed and our Governor is encouraging and now mandating that everyone “Stay Home For Nevada.”

And worst of all, thousands of Nevadans have lost their lives and hundreds of thousands more have lost their jobs.

I hope and pray that this will all be over soon and that nothing like this will ever happen again. But while we are living in these unprecedented times, I want to document what is happening in our city, across our country, and in our daily lives.

Nick recently said that life right now is like the movie Groundhog Day. We are living the same day over and over again. There’s no more Monday through Friday for us, no real distinction between weekday and weekend.

I do have to point out that Nick and I have been extremely blessed in the fact that not only are we both able to work from home but more importantly we both still have our jobs.

With that being said I am now going on Week 5 basically working from home (I have had to go into the office a few times but have mostly been at home) and Nick is on Week 4. At this point, we don’t know how many more weeks there will be.

Nick works for a medical insurance company and is therefore considered an essential employee. Luckily for us, his work can be done with a laptop and phone so his whole team can work from the safety of their homes.

He is currently working from our dining room table from 5:30 am to 2 pm. As for myself, according to the government I work for a casino which is considered non-essential and therefore closed. But I work in Human Resources which within our company is considered essential.

At this point, we are immeasurably blessed that my company is still paying its Team Members and I work in Benefits which is needed now more than ever. So not only am I still getting paid but there is still actual work for me to do.

 

We have spent the last month establishing our new routine. Nick gets up early enough to brush his teeth etc. in the morning before being at his laptop at 5:30 am. I get up shortly after and make us coffee and tea before heading to my laptop to check emails and voicemails. I usually do what work I can for 2-3 hours before spending the rest of my day cleaning, reading, writing, cooking our meals and anything else I can do to keep myself entertained.

 
We try to make a point to take walks most days and get out of the house.
We miss being out in the world. We miss getting to go to the movies, to eat out at a restaurant, to the mall, and especially to church.

 
But we also miss seeing our families. Nick’s mom lives with and cares for her mother who is in her 90s so we haven’t been able to see them in more than a month and I have tried to stay away from my family members recently because I have had to go on property and into the office and want to be sure that I am keeping them all safe.

 
We currently have a Disney Land and Sea trip planned for August and are supposed to be cruising with 11 other family members. We don’t know if that will be happening or not. There are so many variables that could affect this. Will this all be over by then? Will the cruise be canceled and will the parks be open? Will it be safe to travel? Will all of our family members still be able to go?

 
There’s just no way to know right now. I know that there are so many more important things but we have been planning and saving for this trip for a year and would love to be able to see and spend time with some of our east coast people.

 
There are so many things to think about and consider in our new normal. Nick has a transplanted kidney and is on immunosuppressant medication which means he has a compromised immune system and I have asthma which easily leads to bronchitis and pneumonia.

 
Any time we leave the house and return we immediately take off our shoes, wash our hands and change our clothes. I am constantly wiping down our doorknobs, light switches and anything else that gets touched frequently. We are washing our sheets more frequently and avoid touching anything when we do leave the house.

 
I am an introvert and usually enjoy being at home. I don’t mind sitting on the couch reading, binge-watching Disney +, or YouTube videos all day. Before all of this happened, I would have loved to have a whole day at home doing the quiet relaxing things that I enjoy. But even I am going stir crazy after 5 weeks.

 
Nick, on the other hand, does not enjoy being stuck at home and is having a tougher time of it.

 
We frequently discuss what we will do once this is all over. We have a list of places we want to eat and the things we want to do.

 
But for now, we will keep doing what we’re doing and “Stay Home For Nevada.” It is so frustrating to see people on social media with their conspiracy theories, and sharing of every fake news story and article, still out doing things, having people over their houses.
It is just selfish and inconsiderate. There are thousands of people; healthcare workers, janitors, bus drivers, police officers, firemen, etc. who are sacrificing their own health and the health of their families in order to continue to serve the public. All we have to do is stay at home.

 

Not only that but how stupid and ashamed are you going to feel if someone in your family gets sick because you couldn’t follow instructions and take this seriously.

 

Unfortunately, this is like most things. People always think “it won’t happen to me” until it does.

 
Don’t be that person.

 
This is a historical time in our world, one I hope we will never see again. But in the meantime, I hope you and yours stay happy, healthy and safe.

Read This: Sadie by Courtney Summers

“I wish his darkness lived outside of him because you have to know it’s there to see it. Like all real monsters, he hides in plain sight.”

** spoiler alert **

 

Goodreads Synopsis: 

A missing girl on a journey of revenge. A Serial―like podcast following the clues she’s left behind. And an ending you won’t be able to stop talking about.

Sadie hasn’t had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she’s been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water.

But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie’s entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister’s killer to justice and hits the road following a few meager clues to find him.

When West McCray―a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America―overhears Sadie’s story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie’s journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it’s too late.

“How do you forgive the people who are supposed to protect you?”

My Review:

This book made me realize just how much I hate cliffhangers/open endings. What I have realized is that I want to know who-done-it, I want to know if they lived and I want the mystery solved.

All of that being said, because of those things, I didn’t love the ending of this book. I understand that it is more realistic this way and that many of these cases do go unsolved and many times the missing kid isn’t found. That type of story just isn’t for me. I still find myself thinking about this book and wondering what happened to Sadie even months after having finished it.

What I did enjoy was the format of this book. The telling of it in the format of a podcast I think was genius and it worked perfectly for the audiobook. I know that a lot of people said that they didn’t enjoy this book because it seemed a bit repetitive with the reporter following behind the same places that Sadie had just been but I enjoyed that. I like seeing the same scenario from two different points of view and two different perspectives.

Another thing that I appreciated about this story was the representation within it. Sadie, our main character has a stutter, which forms a barricade between her and the rest of the world. This part of Sadie’s life and the way she has to work around it was so perfectly written and portrayed so well in the audiobook. It comes off so genuine and so real that it just makes you feel for Sadie even more.

Like I said I read this book a few months ago but I remember being so astounded by how easily an abuser can fool everyone around him and how blind we as people can be to what is right in front of our faces. For me, that may have been the most heartbreaking part of the whole story.

Read This: The Flight Girls by Noelle Salazar

“This is not a time when women should be patient. We are in a war and we need to fight it with all our ability and every weapon possible. Women pilots, in this particular case, are a weapon waiting to be used. —Eleanor Roosevelt”

 

Goodreads Synopsis:

1941. Audrey Coltrane has always wanted to fly. It’s why she implored her father to teach her at the little airfield back home in Texas. It’s why she signed up to train military pilots in Hawaii when the war in Europe began. And it’s why she insists she is not interested in any dream-derailing romantic involvements, even with the disarming Lieutenant James Hart, who fast becomes a friend as treasured as the women she flies with. Then one fateful day, she gets caught in the air over Pearl Harbor just as the bombs begin to fall, and suddenly, nowhere feels safe.

To make everything she’s lost count for something, Audrey joins the Women Airforce Service Pilots program. The bonds she forms with her fellow pilots reignite a spark of hope in the face war, and–when James goes missing in action–give Audrey the strength to cross the front lines and fight not only for her country but for the love she holds so dear.

 

My Review:

Overall I did enjoy The Flight Girls. It is a powerful and emotional historical fiction. Do I think that it is Kristin Hannah caliber? No.

Having a novel about the WASP program (Women Airforce Service Pilots) during World War II was very refreshing and not something that I had previously read about.

I think that other than a little bit of dragging out of the storyline it was well-written and the characters were relatable and well developed. My favorite part of this book was the friendships and sisterhood that are developed between these women. Their bond was beautiful and I absolutely loved and admired how courageous and brave they were.

What I did not enjoy about the book was how much of it was focused on Audrey’s romantic life. I just didn’t feel that it was necessary. And for me to say that is saying something. I typically love a good romance but I honestly just didn’t feel like this book needed it, if anything I felt that it took away from the story.

Overall the book was very good but it was the unnecessary romance that kept it from being a five star for me.

 

My Quarantine Wish List

Now that pretty much all normal parts of our everyday lives have been canceled and I am going to be working from home for the foreseeable future, I have been thinking about what I want to do with my time.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God intends it all for our good. So what can I do while I am stuck indoors? What can I do to be productive with the extra time that I have been given? 

I know myself well enough to know that if I don’t go into this with some kind of game plan I will spend the next few weeks cuddled up on my couch with my dogs reading and binge-watching tv. And while there is nothing necessarily wrong with those things and I do plan on doing some of that, I also want to do some productive things as well. 

 

Which led me to create the list below. My Quarantine To-Do/Wish List. 

1. Review all books read so far in 2020
2. Clean out garage
3. Catch up with Grey’s Anatomy
4. Marvel Movie Marathon
5. Read at least 5 books
6. Organize downstairs closet and pantry
7. Organize loft and bookshelves
8. Give the dogs baths

                                           

I will keep you guys updated as I get some of these crossed off. But, don’t just sit and watch. Join in on the fun. What are some of the things you want to get done while stuck at home? 

Maybe Don’t Read This: Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson

“Where her books were, she was. Get the books right and the rest will follow. Now she could address the rest of the room.”

 

Good Reads Synopsis:

Ellingham Academy is a famous private school in Vermont for the brightest thinkers, inventors, and artists. It was founded by Albert Ellingham, an early twentieth-century tycoon, who wanted to make a wonderful place full of riddles, twisting pathways, and gardens. “A place,” he said, “where learning is a game.”

Shortly after the school opened, his wife and daughter were kidnapped. The only real clue was a mocking riddle listing method of murder, signed with the frightening pseudonym “Truly, Devious.” It became one of the great unsolved crimes of American history.

True-crime aficionado Stevie Bell is set to begin her first year at Ellingham Academy, and she has an ambitious plan: She will solve this cold case. That is, she will solve the case when she gets a grip on her demanding new school life and her housemates: the inventor, the novelist, the actor, the artist, and the jokester. But something strange is happening. Truly Devious makes a surprise return, and death revisits Ellingham Academy. The past has crawled out of its grave. Someone has gotten away with murder. 

 

My general thoughts:

This book seemed like it was going to be right up my alley. I love a good murder mystery but this just was not that great. I wouldn’t necessarily say that it was bad, it was just sort of middle of the road.

I definitely think that the overall premise was good and I can see what the author was going for I just don’t think that it was executed all that well.

The one thing that this book really did well was the descriptions and representation of someone who suffers from anxiety.

I didn’t feel like the cliffhanger ending was that great or even really necessary.

I did pick up the audiobook of the sequel but ended up stopping it after a few chapters. The writing in these just doesn’t do it for me.

I Have Seen The BTS Light- And It Is Everything!

I am a music lover- I have loved music for as long as I can remember.  I don’t like quiet and I almost always have some kind of music playing. I fully believe in the healing power of music. Music in and of itself, as well as a favorite artist and powerful lyrics have the ability to help you through any situation in your life. No matter what you may be going through you can always find a song relatable to it.

Music was always present in my childhood; whether it was my parents playing show tunes in the car on road trips, my grand parents raising us on Celia Cruz and Marc Anthony or my 12 year old self’s obsession with all.the.boybands.

I have always had an open and varied taste in musical genres; one day you may find me listening to Hamilton and the next I may be listening to Country and the next to a Christian artists and the next Hip Hop, these all change depending on my mood.

So bringing this back around to the point of this post: BTS

I have been hearing about BTS for the last year or so; it seems like they are everywhere and 90% of the channels that I follow on YouTube and the accounts I follow on Instagram have mentioned BTS at one point or another.

And let me tell you that at first I just didn’t get it. Why would you want to listen to a band whose music and lyrics you don’t understand and have to look up? Anytime anyone brought them up I would just roll my eyes and move on, I figured that it just wasn’t my thing.

So many people talk about how BTS has changed their lives or even saved their lives and how revolutionary their music is. I honestly thought that everyone was just being drawn into this boy-band type hype and that their music couldn’t possibly be that good.

Now, let me tell you how wrong I was.

There are somethings in life that we are going to love that other people are just not going to understand (like my love for Disney) and I am fully prepared for my love for BTS to be added to that list. I’m okay with that. What effects me, what has an impact on me, isn’t going to have the same impact on someone else. It’s completely understandable.

I now understand why people say that there now is a dividing line in their lives; there was their life before BTS and their is their life now that they have discovered BTS.

On February 21st 2020, BTS released a music video for their new single ON. I saw reaction video after reaction video on YT for this music video and I decided “why not, let me check it out.” And my life has not been the same since.

I can’t articulate exactly what it is that happened when I watched that video but its like a switch had been flipped inside my brain and I had seen the light. I watched the video 3 or 4 times that day along with every reaction video I could find. And I remember saying to my husband “Well damn, these boys finally got me.” LOL

I don’t know if it was God’s plan for my life or the BTS shaped hole in my heart that I didn’t even know existed but this video spoke to me on a level that I never could have expected. This video was everything that I never knew I needed. I don’t know if it is the killer choreography, the powerful lyrics, the raw talent or the fact that all seven of these men are clearly perfect human beings but I was hooked.

Please, if you have not seen this video, I beg of you, watch it, and then watch it again, and then maybe several times a day for the entirety of the rest of your life:

 

And then watch the official music video that was released yesterday because it is a freaking masterpiece and they steal a little piece of my heart each time that I watch it.

To paraphrase what another blogger said, “Did you immediately fall into a BTS rabbit hole? Is it now several days later and you’ve read anything you can find on this band and watched every video you can get your hands on and haven’t been able to concentrate on anything else since? Have you been reborn? Because I have! 

For those of you who were already converts, I apologize for my delay in joining you. I am a dummy!

If you’re asking yourself why a 30 year old adult woman would lose her shit like a teenager over a boy band, well, all I can say is that life is a mystery.  But I’m merely one of millions who are part of the BTS ARMY,the incredibly devoted, incredibly large fandom that has propelled the group to its current status as the world’s number one pop group.

Every generation gets the one boy band that rules them all; from the Beatles, to NSYNC, to One Direction and the Jonas Brothers; boy bands are not a new phenomenon. What I love is that in a time in our society when hatred, anger and racism seem to be around every corner millions of people around the world are flocking to this group of seven Korean young men who promote equality, LGBTQ+ right, femininity, going against toxic masculinity, love, and who speak out about mental health issues.  I fully believe that BTS can change this world, one person at a time.

 

Read This: The Martian by Andy Weir

“Hell yeah I’m a Botanist! Fear my botany powers!”

 

Good Reads Synopsis:  

Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars.

Now, he’s sure he’ll be the first person to die there.

After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive—and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive.

Chances are, though, he won’t have time to starve to death. The damaged machinery, unforgiving environment, or plain-old “human error” are much more likely to kill him first.

But Mark isn’t ready to give up yet. Drawing on his ingenuity, his engineering skills — and a relentless, dogged refusal to quit — he steadfastly confronts one seemingly insurmountable obstacle after the next. Will his resourcefulness be enough to overcome the impossible odds against him?

 

Characters:

Mark Watney is one of the most sarcastic, witty, and smart ass characters that I have ever read and I loved every second of this.

 

Plot:

One of the few cons I have for this books is that I felt like the first couple of chapters were rushed through. The timeline from when the group arrives on Mars to when the storm hits and Mark is stranded all happens so quickly. You can tell that this part is just the set up for the rest of the story and its sort up just set up and looked over quickly.

The second con is that some of it was a little bit too technical and there was a little bit too much scientific detail that just kind of went over my head. It’s definitely easy to see that the author is a space enthusiast and hobbyist but I think some of that could have been shaved off and the book would have still been just as good.

 

My opinion:

I really enjoyed this movie so I knew that I would like the book. But, this so surpassed my expectations.

I loved the human element of this story. Mark’s personality is so relatable and funny. I really enjoyed the realistic voice and tone used for Mark as he tells his story.

 

Would I recommend?

I would absolutely recommend this book. I would recommend reading this and then going to see the move staring Matt Damon.

 

 

Definitely Read This- The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

“At the time, I remember thinking that while everyone was talking, writing, arguing, about Alicia, at the heart of this frantic, noisy activity there was a void-a silence. A sphinx.”

 

Good Reads Synopsis:

Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word.

Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London.

Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him.

 

Characters:

Alicia: For being silent through 90% of the story, I really enjoyed Alicia as a main character. She has had such a hard life and been through so many things. I really like how throughout the book different things happen to change your opinion of Alicia and what she or may not have done. I’ve never read a book like this where the main character does not speak but I actually really liked the unique perspective it gave us of Alicia.

Throughout the book Alicia refers to herself as crazy or invisible and by the end of the story it is painfully clear why she has such low self-esteem.

Gabriel: Gabriel is a narcissistic bastard. Not only does he make Alicia feel inferior and negate her feelings but then he is also cheating on her. And on top of that he willingly sacrifices her to save himself.

Max: I do kind of feel like Max was an element to the story that was really necessary. He was one of the loose ends that the author uses to draw the reader to false conclusions but I feel like that could have been done differently with Max. I don’t feel like his storyline with Alicia really added anything to the story.

Although Max was a pig and clearly deranged, I just don’t think his character was necessary to the overall story.

 

Plot:

Alicia’s terror after Gabriel’s death can be interpreted in so many ways. Is she in shock because she witnessed someone else killing her husband or because she herself did? Does she feel remorse or is she schizophrenic or a sociopath? I really enjoyed how the author allowed you to draw your own conclusions and work out the puzzle for yourself before revealing the truth.

The way that Alicia’s silence is tied in and explained is just brilliant and I liked that the reason was complex and made sense for her not necessarily everyone else.

The use of Alicia’s career as an artist and her painting the Alcestis was a great plot device and used beautifully to drive the story.

The book was such a complex look into mental illness and how our parents and our childhood can have such an impact on that.  The fact that Alicia felt as if her mother had killed her by causing that accident and then that her father had killed her again was such a sad but beautiful way to show this.

 

“Love that doesn’t include honestly doesn’t deserve to be called love.”

 

My opinion:

I was so worried that the ending or big reveal at the end of this book was going to be stupid and fall flat but boy was I wrong; the last reveal in this book is perfect.

I cannot believe that this is a debut novel. The way the author set up this story line and created all of these loose ends and so many possible suspects and explanations and then at the end slams you with something completely unexpected is magical.

The only real issue that I had with this book was its over generalizations about people who have been sexually abused or the people who do the abusing.

In one chapter the author writes “…it is impossible for someone who was not been abused to become an abuser.”

What kind of research was done to prove that this statement is true? Mental Illness and abuse are such taboo subjects in our society that I don’t think that it is right or fair to use such absolutes on something that is not always reported or talked about. I am sure that there are men and women out there who have abused another person in some way who may have some type of mental illness but may not have necessarily been abused themselves.

Another statement made in the book that I did not find appropriate was “…but she can-and must- harbor vengeful fantasies in her head.”

As a male this author has no right to state so totally what a woman does or does or does not feel as a victim of abuse. And I can tell you that this statement is not correct in any way. I do not believe that every victim of sexual assault harbors vengeful fantasies and I definitely do not think that it is not something that they “must” do.

 

Would I recommend?

Aside from the issues stated above, I thought that the thriller/mystery in this book was done perfectly especially for a standalone book. There was so much detail and character development and revelation in this story.

 

 

Definitely Read This: Together We Caught Fire by Eva V. Gibson

“That’s all any of us are, I think more or less screwed up, at any given moment. It’s all chaos.”

 

 

Good Reads Synopsis:

A forbidden attraction grows even more complicated when the guy Lane Jamison has crushed on for years suddenly becomes her step-brother in this sexy and gorgeously written debut novel about the lines between love, desire, and obsession.

 

Characters:

Lane: Lane is such a realistic and relatable character. The depth of her pain and trauma are so evident and beautifully written. As someone whose father committed suicide, I can attest from experience that Lane’s grief, her nightmares, her anxiety are all so well represented. I love to see her growth throughout the book and to see her get help, fight her demons and push past her shitty circumstances and past.

Connor: Another character who is so authentic. He is an artist with a giant heart who wants to help others and give them a safe space to create their masterpieces. The way that he takes care of Lane and tried to help her through her grief and overcome her trauma is beautiful. Especially when Connor himself is dealing with repercussions of his own upbringing and his own abuse and life as a homeless teen.

Grey: He wasn’t my favorite character in the story. While he did attempt several times to do the right thing and stay away from Lane and be fair to Sadie. His treatment of Connor in various parts of the story kind of turned me off to him. But I do believe that him and Sadie were in a toxic relationship and would not have worked out so I am glad that Grey put his dreams first and ended with Sadie.

Sadie: At first I really didn’t like Sadie. She is written at the type of person who gives Christians and “religious” people a bad name. She is judgmental and abrasive and argumentative and expects those around her to follow suit with her religious beliefs regardless of their own. But, towards the end of the story we get a quick glimpse of what Sadie’s home life could really be like and the abuse that she may herself be suffering. I do wish that that aspect of the story had been delved into a little deeper.

 

“Before I set fire to everything between us, letting it spark and scorch and devour us both. Until there is nothing left in the world to burn.”

 

Plot:

 Together We Caught Fire is the most extreme version of a slow burn romance that I have ever read. I am so glad that the romance in this went the way that it did. These characters needed time to be apart, to work on themselves and all of their issues. This story is about a girl who has seen horrific things that no person should every have to, about a group of friends who are coming of age, who are learning to deal with the after effects of trauma, grief, abuse, and love. I love that Gibson dropped these characters into such difficult and raw places but didn’t allow them to stay there. She perfectly embodies the notion of “It’s ok to not be ok, but it isn’t ok to stay that way.” Life is hard, life can be horrible but in the end no one can brings us up out of those depths but ourselves.

 

My opinion:

This book is an emotional roller coaster; one page it is funny and the characters are witty and snarky and the next it is deep and raw and so eloquent and beautifully written. I absolutely loved this.

 

 

 

Maybe Read This: The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

“My mother was raised on fairy tales, but I was raised on highways.”

 

Good Reads Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother’s stories are set. Alice’s only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.”

Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother’s tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

 

Characters:

Alice:

Alice is a fucked up character, to put it bluntly. She has extraordinary anger issues, violent outbursts and is very selfish. BUT! For me those character flaws kind of made sense when you out her role within the Hazel Wood. Those traits spill over and follow her into the “real world”. Let’s face it, no one is perfect to begin with but then when you add in Alice’s “heritage” of course she is going to be fucked-up. Did I love her character? No. But I kind of understood it.

 

Ella:

I was really disappointed in the fact that Ella had so little face time within the story. She seemed more interesting to me and more developed as a character then Alice did. I wish we could have seen more of her.

 

Finch:

Finch also gets sort of eliminated from the story early on and never really makes it into the Hazel Wood in a way that we can see. The most interesting characters to me were eliminated from the story early on.

 

Plot:

The whole first part of this story is told in NYC before it actually gets to the “fantasy” part of the story which I wasn’t expecting. I would have liked it much better if more of the fantasy element had been included.

The best part of this book were by far the snippets of “fairytale” that we got from Althea’s book. Melissa Albert needs to just turn these into a collection of short stories because those were well thought out and scary.

 

My opinion:

Over all I don’t think that the book was horrible. I am actually currently reading the sequel. But, I do think that it could have been shorter and have the same overall ending, it didn’t need to be quite so dragged out. But, it was good. (Not great)

Best Book of Each Month in 2019

The are so many “best of” and “worst of” posts going around this month so I thought I would throw my own opinions into the ring, with a little bit of twist. Instead of just listing out X number of best books for the year, I am going to go through my reading list for each month of 2019 and select the best book (in my opinion) from that month.

 

January

Honestly, this book was so beautifully and lyrically written. I listened to it in audio-book format and it is just beautiful. It’s so lyrical that the words just flow and it is so easy to imagine and fall into this world. I would highly recommend the audio-book of this story. BUT! You also need to purchase a hard copy because the cover of this book is just absolutely gorgeous.

 

February

This one was hard because I read so many great books in February. But how could I not pick The Nightingale? Kristin Hannah’s writing is just unparalleled. She weaves such a beautiful and heart-breaking, yet inspiring tale.

 

March

I know that this series is highly controversial; people in the book community either love it or hate it. And I have to say that I (obviously) love it. I went into this completely blind; I was a quarter of the way through the book before I even realized that it was a Beauty and the Beast retelling. I just love Sarah J Maas’ world-building and character writing. I loved this series so much that I read the whole series again in the Fall and bought a special set.

 

 

April

I honestly don’t think that I could pick a book from 2019 with better world building. The amount of depth and layering and detail that Astrid Scholte was able to put into a stand alone book is just amazing. She was able to weave and string together such a beautiful and rich world within only 413 pages. This story was so intriguing and it just pulls you right into Quadara, I couldn’t put it down. And don’t get me started on the gorgeous cover.

 

May

This book was the Book of the Month Book of the Year as well as Good Reads choice for best Historical Fiction. This book had me hooked from the beginning. It is such an interesting format to have it written in the form of interviews and it just kept me interested the whole way through. If you are a music fan or a fan of the 60s and 70s era then I highly suggest you pick this book up. And don’t get me started on the quotes from this book; the writing is just spectacular. But, then again it is Taylor Jenkins Reid so did we really expect anything less?

 

June

I have a tie for this month! Honestly, I could not pick.

 

Another TJR book of perfection. First of all the representation in this book is just off the charts:  you’ve got bi rep, gay rep, lesbian rep, a Cuban woman, and a biracial woman. Whatever you think this book is, it isn’t. It will surpass every expectation that you could possibly have for it. This is high  up on my list of favorite books of 2019.

 

There was no way that I could leave Scythe off of this list. This series is so eloquently and intellectually written; Neal Shusterman is nothing short of a genius. I went into this relatively blind and boy did it pay off. The Arc of the Scythe series was one of my favorites series of 2019.

 

 

July

 

Another beautiful story from Kristin Hannah. This was another fascinating, thought-provoking, and captivating read. Heartbreaking at times… but there were also moments of great love and unbelievable kindness. A gripping story where I was desperate to know what was going to happen next. A bittersweet but satisfying ending topped off this amazing read.

 

 

August

This was probably my favorite book in the ACOTAR series. I love seeing Feyre grow and come into herself and her relationship with Rhys grow and develop. Feyre is pulled from a horrible, hellish situation with Tamlin into this beautiful family unit who loves her and gives her the space she needs to breathe and heal.

 

September

I read a lot of good books in September but this was by far my favorite.  I read this in audio-book format but I know that I will be purchasing a hard copy so that I can annotate it. This book has such beautiful, poignant writing and I know that there will be so many  quotable phrases and passages. As a woman with Cuban heritage I love that this is an own voices book inspired by the author’s own Cuban heritage.

 

October

I really enjoyed this movie so I knew that I would like the book. But, this so surpassed my expectations. Mark Watney is one of the most sarcastic, witty, and smart ass characters that I have ever read and I loved every second of this.

 

November

Again, there was no way that I could pick just one book for November.

 

I can’t believe that I waited so long to read this book. It was everything I had heard it was and so much more. It is witty, it is hilarious, it is sarcastic and most importantly it is a beautiful picture of what our country, and more importantly the world, could be. This book brings so much hope and is so important for where our society currently stands and what we are on the brink of. 

 

This may literally be my favorite books of 2019. I didn’t think that I could respect and admire Michelle Obama any more then I already did but this book just took it to a whole new level. I listened to the audio-book of this and hearing her story in her own words, her own voice was just perfect. Michelle is so well spoken and eloquent and just a genuinely good and kind person. It also obviously struck a cord with me hearing about her and Barack’s infertility struggles. This book just hit so many heart strings and made me feel so hopeful for what our country could be, I definitely plan on re-reading this in 2020. 

 

I have every intention of buying this set in 2020 and giving these a re-read because I did not love the first two books in the series before I got to QoN. The Cruel Prince made me really uncomfortable and angry with it’s bullying scenes and the way that Jude was treated and honestly I found it hard to read. So I think that may have colored my opinion of it. The Wicked King was better but I still didn’t get the hype. But, The Queen of Nothing completely brought it back for me. I loved this book and I really want to go back and try the first two books again and annotate it. 

 

The writing and character development in this book is just beautiful. I went into this thinking that it was a story about a hockey team but this is so much more than that. This book deals with such heavy themes like bullying, small town mentality, poverty and class issues, glorification of athletes, and most importantly rape culture. I can tell you that I can’t think of another book that has ever made me as angry as this one. I have never had to put a book down and walk away because it made me so emotional until I read Bear Town. I cannot wait to read the sequel Us Against You. 

 

 

December

I received an ARC of this through Net Galley and I went in pretty blind, without expecting much. I read Contemporaries and enjoy them for the most part. But, I am much more of a Fantasy and Dystopian type reader. But, this was so good. It was cute, funny, and witty but also had some heavy themes involving family dynamics and sibling relationships. It also had a bit of a Romeo and Juliet type vibe which I really liked. 

 

 

Surrender- Even When It Is Hard

                     

 

It has been so easy in the last couple of years to allow myself to worry, to overthink everything and to focus on all of the things that have not yet happened. 

It is so easy to wish that I could just fast-forward my life to the time when I will have all of the things that I want in life. 

I have struggled with focusing on all of the things that I don’t have instead of appreciating the things that I do. It has definitely gotten better over time but still each day is a conscientious choice to be positive, to be grateful and to have a good day. 

I don’t want to live my life constantly comparing and neglecting all of the blessings that I have been given. 

So over the past couple of years, I have learned to surrender. 

I can’t do everything on my own. I can’t rely on the people around me to fix things for me and I’m not the one in control. 

I need to remember who is in control, who I can rely on, who is faithful and who promises all for my good. 

I need to offer God my life, my desires, my wishes and my dreams. I need to let him have control and take over; every day and every night. He knows what is right for me. 

God has my heart and he will take care of it, protect it, and nurture it. He tells me to stop acting like I know what I am doing and where I am going. It is only Him, who has an understanding of my life and where it is going. 

My faith in Him needs to be stronger each and every day. 

I will continue to try to stop worrying so much about the things that I cannot control. I will no longer try to find answers to all the questions. I will never doubt Him when I am in the middle of my struggles. Instead, I will let my life unfold according to His plan. 

I will surrender. 

January 2020- TBR

December was a great reading year for me; I started off with a goal of reading 80 books. I ended up reading 110 books. Since I did so well in 2019, I upped my goal for 2020 and am hoping to read at least 100 books. This would average out to about 8-9 books a month. This seems like a feasible goal as my average last year was 10+ books per month. 

So here we go our first TBR of the new decade:

 

Heir of Fire by Sarah J Maas

                                                       

She was the heir of ash and fire, and she would bow to no one.

Celaena Sardothien has survived deadly contests and shattering heartbreak—but at an unspeakable cost. Now she must travel to a new land to confront her darkest truth…a truth about her heritage that could change her life—and her future—forever.

Meanwhile, brutal and monstrous forces are gathering on the horizon, intent on enslaving her world. To defeat them, Celaena must find the strength to not only fight her inner demons but to battle the evil that is about to be unleashed.

The king’s assassin takes on an even greater destiny and burns brighter than ever before in this follow-up to the New York Times bestselling Crown of Midnight.

 

 

The Flight Portfolio by Julie Orringer

In 1940, Varian Fry—a Harvard-educated American journalist—traveled to Marseille carrying three thousand dollars and a list of imperiled artists and writers he hoped to rescue within a few weeks. Instead, he ended up staying in France for thirteen months, working under the veil of a legitimate relief organization to procure false documents, amass emergency funds, and set up an underground railroad that led over the Pyrenees, into Spain, and finally to Lisbon, where the refugees embarked for safer ports. Among his many clients were Hannah Arendt, Franz Werfel, André Breton, Max Ernst, Marcel Duchamp, and Marc Chagall.

The Flight Portfolio opens at the Chagalls’ ancient stone house in Gordes, France, as the novel’s hero desperately tries to persuade them of the barbarism and tragedy descending on Europe. Masterfully crafted, exquisitely written, impossible to put down, this is historical fiction of the very first order, and resounding confirmation of Orringer’s gifts as a novelist. 

 

 

The Similars by Rebecca Hanover

When six clones join Emmaline’s prestigious boarding school, she must confront the heartbreak of seeing her dead best friend’s face each day in class.

The Similars are all anyone can talk about at the elite Darkwood Academy. Who are these six clones? What are the odds that all of them would be Darkwood students? Who is the madman who broke the law to create them? Emma couldn’t care less. Her best friend, Oliver, died over the summer and all she can think about is how to get through her junior year without him. Then she comes face-to-heartbreaking-face with Levi—Oliver’s exact DNA replica and one of the Similars.

Emma wants nothing to do with the Similars, but she keeps getting pulled deeper and deeper into their clique, uncovering dark truths about the clones and her prestigious school along the way. But no one can be trusted…not even the boy she is falling for who has Oliver’s face.

 

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver 

When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they’re thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents’ rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.

But Ben’s attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan’s friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.

 

Winterwood by Shea Ernshaw

Be careful of the dark, dark wood…

Especially the woods surrounding the town of Fir Haven. Some say these woods are magical. Haunted, even.

Rumored to be a witch, only Nora Walker knows the truth. She and the Walker women before her have always shared a special connection with the woods. And it’s this special connection that leads Nora to Oliver Huntsman—the same boy who disappeared from the Camp for Wayward Boys weeks ago—and in the middle of the worst snowstorm in years. He should be dead, but here he is alive, and left in the woods with no memory of the time he’d been missing.

But Nora can feel an uneasy shift in the woods at Oliver’s presence. And it’s not too long after that Nora realizes she has no choice but to unearth the truth behind how the boy she has come to care so deeply about survived his time in the forest, and what led him there in the first place. What Nora doesn’t know, though, is that Oliver has secrets of his own—secrets he’ll do anything to keep buried, because as it turns out, he wasn’t the only one to have gone missing on that fateful night all those weeks ago.

For as long as there have been fairy tales, we have been warned to fear what lies within the dark, dark woods and in Winterwood, New York Times bestselling author Shea Ernshaw, shows us why.

 

Vengeful by VE Schwab

The sequel to VICIOUS, V.E. Schwab’s first adult novel.

Sydney once had Serena—beloved sister, betrayed enemy, powerful ally. But now she is alone, except for her thrice-dead dog, Dol, and then there’s Victor, who thinks Sydney doesn’t know about his most recent act of vengeance.

Victor himself is under the radar these days—being buried and re-animated can strike concern even if one has superhuman powers. But despite his own worries, his anger remains. And Eli Ever still has yet to pay for the evil he has done.

 

The Flight Girls by Noelle Salazar

1941. Audrey Coltrane has always wanted to fly. It’s why she implored her father to teach her at the little airfield back home in Texas. It’s why she signed up to train military pilots in Hawaii when the war in Europe began. And it’s why she insists she is not interested in any dream-derailing romantic involvements, even with the disarming Lieutenant James Hart, who fast becomes a friend as treasured as the women she flies with. Then one fateful day, she gets caught in the air over Pearl Harbor just as the bombs begin to fall, and suddenly, nowhere feels safe.

To make everything she’s lost count for something, Audrey joins the Women Airforce Service Pilots program. The bonds she forms with her fellow pilots reignite a spark of hope in the face war, and–when James goes missing in action–give Audrey the strength to cross the front lines and fight not only for her country, but for the love she holds so dear.

Sadie by Courtney Summers

A missing girl on a journey of revenge. A Serial―like podcast following the clues she’s left behind. And an ending you won’t be able to stop talking about.

Sadie hasn’t had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she’s been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water.

But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie’s entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister’s killer to justice and hits the road following a few meager clues to find him.

When West McCray―a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America―overhears Sadie’s story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie’s journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it’s too late.

 

 

Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men.

But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

 

 

The Hazelwood by Melissa Albert

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother’s stories are set. Alice’s only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.”

Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother’s tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

 

 

Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

No one believes in them. But soon no one will forget them.

It’s 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

To hunt down the ancient artifact the Order seeks, Séverin calls upon a band of unlikely experts: An engineer with a debt to pay. A historian banished from his home. A dancer with a sinister past. And a brother in arms if not blood.

Together, they will join Séverin as he explores the dark, glittering heart of Paris. What they find might change the course of history–but only if they can stay alive.

 

 

Eragon by Christopher Paolini

When Eragon finds a polished blue stone in the forest, he thinks it is the lucky discovery of a poor farm boy; perhaps it will buy his family meat for the winter. But when the stone brings a dragon hatchling, Eragon soon realizes he has stumbled upon a legacy nearly as old as the Empire itself.

Overnight his simple life is shattered, and he is thrust into a perilous new world of destiny, magic, and power. With only an ancient sword and tge advice of an old storyteller for guidance, Eragon and the fledgling dragon must navigate the dangerous terrain and dark enemies of an Empire ruled by a king whose evil knows no bounds.

Can Eragon take up the mantle of the legendary Dragon Riders? The fate of the Empire may rest in his hands. 

 

 

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Alicia Berenson’s life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London’s most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word.

Alicia’s refusal to talk, or give any kind of explanation, turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the tabloids and spotlight at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London.

Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His determination to get her to talk and unravel the mystery of why she shot her husband takes him down a twisting path into his own motivations—a search for the truth that threatens to consume him…

 

 

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson

Ellingham Academy is a famous private school in Vermont for the brightest thinkers, inventors, and artists. It was founded by Albert Ellingham, an early twentieth century tycoon, who wanted to make a wonderful place full of riddles, twisting pathways, and gardens. “A place” he said, “where learning is a game.”

Shortly after the school opened, his wife and daughter were kidnapped. The only real clue was a mocking riddle listing methods of murder, signed with the frightening pseudonym, Truly Devious. It became one of the great unsolved crimes of American history.

True-crime aficionado Stevie Bell is set to begin her first year at Ellingham Academy, and she has an ambitious plan: She will solve this cold case. That is, she will solve the case when she gets a grip on her demanding new school life and her housemates: the inventor, the novelist, the actor, the artist, and the jokester. But something strange is happening. Truly Devious makes a surprise return, and death revisits Ellingham Academy. The past has crawled out of its grave. Someone has gotten away with murder. 

 

 

The Diviners by Libra Bray

Evie O’Neill has been exiled from her boring old hometown and shipped off to the bustling streets of New York City—and she is pos-i-tute-ly ecstatic. It’s 1926, and New York is filled with speakeasies, Ziegfeld girls, and rakish pickpockets. The only catch is that she has to live with her uncle Will and his unhealthy obsession with the occult.

Evie worries he’ll discover her darkest secret: a supernatural power that has only brought her trouble so far. But when the police find a murdered girl branded with a cryptic symbol and Will is called to the scene, Evie realizes her gift could help catch a serial killer.

As Evie jumps headlong into a dance with a murderer, other stories unfold in the city that never sleeps. A young man named Memphis is caught between two worlds. A chorus girl named Theta is running from her past. A student named Jericho hides a shocking secret. And unknown to all, something dark and evil has awakened. 

 

Lair of Dreams by Libra Bray

The longing of dreams draws the dead, and this city holds many dreams.

After a supernatural showdown with a serial killer, Evie O’Neill has outed herself as a Diviner. With her uncanny ability to read people’s secrets, she’s become a media darling, earning the title “America’s Sweetheart Seer.” Everyone’s in love with the city’s newest It Girl…everyone except the other Diviners.

Piano-playing Henry DuBois and Chinatown resident Ling Chan are two Diviners struggling to keep their powers a secret—for they can walk in dreams. And while Evie is living the high life, victims of a mysterious sleeping sickness are turning up across New York City.

As Henry searches for a lost love and Ling strives to succeed in a world that shuns her, a malevolent force infects their dreams. And at the edges of it all lurks a man in a stovepipe hat who has plans that extend farther than anyone can guess…As the sickness spreads, can the Diviners descend into the dreamworld to save the city?

 

 

The Whisper Man by Alex North

In this dark, suspenseful thriller, Alex North weaves a multi-generational tale of a father and son caught in the crosshairs of an investigation to catch a serial killer preying on a small town.

After the sudden death of his wife, Tom Kennedy believes a fresh start will help him and his young son Jake heal. A new beginning, a new house, a new town. Featherbank.

But the town has a dark past. Twenty years ago, a serial killer abducted and murdered five residents. Until Frank Carter was finally caught, he was nicknamed “The Whisper Man,” for he would lure his victims out by whispering at their windows at night.

Just as Tom and Jake settle into their new home, a young boy vanishes. His disappearance bears an unnerving resemblance to Frank Carter’s crimes, reigniting old rumors that he preyed with an accomplice. Now, detectives Amanda Beck and Pete Willis must find the boy before it is too late, even if that means Pete has to revisit his great foe in prison: The Whisper Man.

And then Jake begins acting strangely. He hears a whispering at his window…

 

 

 

Read This: Dread Nation

“My momma always said the best way to get what you want from people is to give them what they think they want. Sometimes you have to live down to people’s expectations, Kate.”

 

Good Reads Synopsis:

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations.

But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems.

 

Characters:

Jane is the perfect main character for this story. She is brash, kick-ass, theatrical, and an unreliable narrator. The story is told from her point of view and she can definitely see things on a bias.

Kate is the perfect counterpart to Jane. A fierce and brave woman in her own right, she is the perfect person to balance out Jane’s abrasive and impulsive personality.

Plot:

The word building and layering of fact and fiction was done so well in this that even for a book about zombies nothing seemed too over the top or out of the realm of possibility. I have read so many books where things are taken to such an extreme that you can’t help thinking “this could never happen”. That is not the case with this book.

Justina Ireland was about to stick to the reality of the era enough to keep her story relevant and believable.

 

“See, the problem in this world ain’t sinners, or even the dead. It is men who will step on anyone who stands in the way of their pursuit of power.”- Dread Nation

 

My opinion:

As a lover of historical fiction, a book about zombies during the Reconstruction era, is right up my alley.

I don’t know if I could say this was my favorite book of this year but it’s definitely up there.

One of the things that I loved most about this book is how the author was about to take our world, our nation and its history and build a whole other fictional world on top of it. She was able to blend fiction with history so beautifully.

 

Would I recommend?

This book goes full throttle from beginning to end and keeps you enticed the whole time, even for a 450-page book.

I would definitely recommend this book and the sequel comes on February 4^th and I am so excited for it!

 

Don’t Read This: Dead Girls Club

ARC provided by Crooked Lane Books through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

Good Reads Synopsis:

 In 1991, Heather Cole and her friends were members of the Dead Girls Club. Obsessed with the macabre, the girls exchanged stories about serial killers and imaginary monsters, like the Red Lady, the spirit of a vengeful witch killed centuries before. Heather knew the stories were just that, until her best friend Becca began insisting the Red Lady was real–and she could prove it.

That belief got Becca killed.

It’s been nearly thirty years, but Heather has never told anyone what really happened that night–that Becca was right and the Red Lady was real. She’s done her best to put that fateful summer, Becca, and the Red Lady, behind her. Until a familiar necklace arrives in the mail, a necklace Heather hasn’t seen since the night Becca died.

The night Heather killed her.

Now, someone else knows what she did…and they’re determined to make Heather pay.

Characters:

Heather: It’s not often that I read a book and avidly dislike a character. Usually I can find some kind of redeeming quality. But, Heather was just unlikable. She was selfish, irrational, naive and just made some really stupid decisions.

Ryan: I felt so bad for Heather’s husband. He tried so hard to help her and figure out what was going on with her and she just refused to let him in in any way.

 

Plot:

I felt like the story was just extremely dragged out and there were so many sub plots and side things happening that just weren’t necessary and didn’t do anything to further the story. This book would have been a lot better if about 20% of it had been edited out.

The two side characters (I don’t even remember their names) Becca and Heather’s two other friends, didn’t seem necessary to the story. The whole thing with Heather’s secretary looking for information about her cousin who committed suicide was unnecessary and the plot twist at the end just didn’t make sense.

The whole Red Lady thing just didn’t really make sense and I don’t know, I didn’t really get it. It was like the author couldn’t decide if they wanted the story to be more of a thriller or a paranormal type book.

 

My opinion:

Honestly, they synopsis of this book was better than the book itself. I’ve come to realize that I don’t like books where the main character is being stalked or haunted or bullied or whatever and they are absolutely adamant that they cant tell anyone. 

Like I just don’t understand that line of thinking. Someone is obviously stalking you or threatening you, you tell someone. 

 

Would I recommend? Why or why not?:

I don’t think that I would recommend this. It was just so disjointed and couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. If you’re looking for a good psychological thriller pick up a Karin Slaughter book.

 

 

 

 

Disney Details- Hollywood Studios

Today we will be talking about my top favorite Disney details in Hollywood Studios.

If I am being honest, Hollywood Studios is probably my least favorite park. This park is  best known for the Hollywood Tower of Terror and if you have been around here for a while then you know that this is my least favorite attraction in all of Walt Disney World.

On our honeymoon trip in May of 2015, my husband and I spent half a day in Hollywood Studios and ended up leaving to go to EPCOT. I think a big factor in that decision was that it was ridiculously hot outside and we made the poor decision of sitting through the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular…which is outside. (This is not a reflection on Indy which is a greats show).

But, I digress… back to our top details about Hollywood Studios.

 

I. Jedi Training Trials

Who wouldn’t want to train to be a Jedi ?!!

The process for this used to be a little bit different where children would be randomly selected from the audience. Now, you are actually able to sign up for this ahead of time AND get into the park early in order to get signed up and get your child ready.

II. Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular

This secret is actually true for both the Indiana Jones show in HS and the Indiana Jones ride in Disneyland. Both attractions feature a well or a pit in a dig site where there is a rope with a pulley that has a sign that says “Do not pull on the rope”. If you do in fact pull the rope you will hear voices from down below within the pit.

 

III. Gertie The Dinosaur’s Foot Prints

For those of you who do not know. Gertie is the name of the giant dinosaur who occasionally sells ice cream in Hollywood Studios. And near the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, you can actually see (and follow) Gertie’s footprints into Echo Lake.

 

 

IV. Door #22 Inside the Hollywood Tower of Terror

Anyone who is a fan will know that the Tower of Terror is chalk full of references to the tv show the Twilight Zone.

But, one locale showcases one episode specifically. When you are walking through the lobby of the hotel off to the side of the front desk there is a door with a sign that has the number 22 on it.

This sign correlates to episode 22 of the Twilight Zone.

 

What are your favorite details in Hollywood Studios?

December- Reading Wrap Up

December was one of my best reading months of 2019, in part because of the cheesy holiday reads but still all in all it was a good month. I read 11 books for a total of 3,380 pages. As far as the star ratings go; I had no five star reads, six 4-star reads, three 3-star and two 2-star reads.

Let’s check them out below:

 

The Whole Fertility Life Plan by Kyra Phillips and Dr. Jamie Grifo:

 

This book was super informative and had a ton of insight into readying yourself for a fertility journey. One of my goals this years is to read my non-fiction and this was a great way to start that. What I enjoyed most about this book is that it wasn’t preachy, ‘if you do this you for sure won’t ever get pregnant”. It openly and simply discusses a sensitive topic while providing options and optimism.

 

 

A Court if Frost and Starlight by Sarah J Maas

“The weaver went on, “I have to create, or it was all for nothing. I have to create, or I will crumple up with despair and never leave my bed. I have to create because I have no other way of voicing this.” Her hand rested on her heart, and my eyes burned. “It is hard,” the weaver said, her stare never leaving mine, “and it hurts, but if I were to stop, if I were to let this loom or the spindle go silent …” She broke my gaze at last to look to her tapestry. “Then there would be no Hope shining in the Void.”

This was a re-read for me and I have to say that I liked it less the second time around. I feel like it just ended abruptly and didn’t really resolve anything. I know there are more books coming but I feel like this should have been combined with one of those and made longer.

 

 

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord:

ARC provided by St. Martin’s Press through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

This story was super cute! (pun intended) I actually really enjoyed this and didn’t want to put it down. This is a light-hearted Contemporary YA with a much happier Romeo and Juliet feel.

 

 

The 13th Day of Christmas by Jason Wright: 

“The day to recommit to living a life more like His. The day to proclaim to the world that while His birth brought hope, His life brought the model. The day to believe that He lives, that He loves everyone, and that He wants every porch waver, rock pile climber, cancer patient, and troublemaker to come Home again. The 13th Day of Christmas.”

This was such a touching, heart-warming story. I went into this expecting another cheesy holiday romance but that is not what this is at all.

 

 

One Day In December by Josie Silver:

“Despite the fairy-tale snowstorm out there, this isn’t Narnia. This is London, real life, where hearts get kicked and bruised and broken, but somehow they still keep beating.”

There were parts about this book that I really enjoyed and parts that I really did not. I think Laurie made stupid decisions throughout the whole book and I honestly really didn’t like Jack. It also wasn’t necessary to drag this out over 10 years, it could have been done over 5 years and still had the same effect.

 

 

10 Blind Dates by Ashley Elston:

Although the end of this story was super predictable and obvious within the first chapter, I actually really enjoyed it.

 

 

Girls of Storm and Shadow by Natasha Ngan:

“It doesn’t matter how beautiful the cage is. It’s still a prison.”

Although I still feel like I am processing this one. I actually kind of think that I liked it more than the first book in the series. Girls of Paper and Fire was so overhyped and was not nearly as dark and violent as everyone made it seem.

 

 

Merry and Bright by Debbie Macomber: 

This was your typical holiday Contemporary Romance. It was short and cute but nothing to write home about. 

 

 

The Perfect Christmas by Debbie Macomber:

This was not my favorite book. It was obvious, predictable and a little too cheesy. The enemies to lovers trope was so over-looked and barely existent that it might as well have just been taken out of the book completely. 

 

 

Reverie by Ryan La Sala:

“Just because something is imagined doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous.”

The idea of this book is so interesting but I just did not love the delivery of it. It was so confusing at times and it was drawn out too long. 

 

 

The Dead Girls Club by Damien Angelica Walters:

ARC provided by Crooked Lane Books through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.

The characters in this book were so hard to root for or like that it just kind of negated everything that happened. The plot twist at the end was unnecessary and the whole thing was just kind of disjointed and messy. 

 

 

 

Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021

I’m going to be honest, with everything that has happened in 2020 I couldn’t even tell you what my Word of the Year was. I know that I started off the year with goals related to my Bookstagram page and my blog, that I had aspirations of getting a promotion within the HR field, and that Nick and I began the year with hopes of adopting a child. This year seems to have flown by while simultaneously being the longest, weirdest year of my life.

It would be wrong of me to begin a wrap up of 2020 without first giving thanks and saying how blessed I and those around me have been. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a crappy year, we have been hit with some heavy blows and we are not blind to how others around us are suffering but all in all my family and I have been so very lucky and things could have been so much worse. Among the bad there have been moments of immeasurable good.

For Nick and I the year began with us making the decision to begin the process of working with the Department of Family Services to foster a child with the hopes of eventually adopting. After 3 years of navigating unexplained infertility we started this year hopeful and ready to grow our family. This ended up not working out due to unforeseen circumstances not having to do with COVID. We hope to explore this option again in the future once things settle down.

On the whole January and the majority of February took place as usual; we celebrated our 12 year anniversary on News Years Eve, navigated the craziness of the beginning of the year at both of our jobs, celebrated Valentines Day and we getting ready to begin the final stages of planning for our Disney cruise in August with 11 other family members. During this time we also found out that my grand-father had been diagnosed with colon cancer and would begin chemo and radiation treatment. One of our many blessings of the year is that given the gravity of his illness, the potential for horrible side effects and the fear of battling Cancer during a global pandemic he came out on the other side relatively unscathed and thankfully Cancer free.

I wish that I could say that it was my faith that got me through all of the ups and downs of this year but honestly I would be lying if I did. Maybe, that makes me a bad Christian, I think it just makes me human.

That’s not to say that my faith hasn’t been huge part of my life this year because it has. But, in all honesty my saving grace in 2020 came from the last place I would have ever expected, it came to me in the form of a 7 member Korean boyband.

I know, I know some of you are rolling your eyes or have now decided to not read the rest of this blog post. But, it would literally be impossible for me to discuss 2020 without discussing BTS. I have spent the majority of my adulthood feeling disconnected from the world around me; whether because of lingering traumas from my childhood, my introverted nature or my general anxiousness but I’d never felt fully at peace or able to live in the moment.

That changed when I discovered BTS. I have never felt more heard, seen, understood, self-confident or at peace in my life.

I recently read an article about BTS in Esquire magazine and it is the closest to the true essence of BTS that I think anyone has come. It said “Sometimes there is a whole universe alongside your own, bursting with color you’re too stubborn to see, bouncing with joy you think is for someone else, with a beat you thought you were finished dancing to.”

In everything that they do, in everything that they are BTS shines only love and light. They are somehow able to talk about dark, meaningful subjects while also discussing how to overcome those very things. They are 7 young men who have overcome insurmountable odds, who radiate nothing but kindness, love and humbleness. Each with their own personality and strengths these men have done nothing but inspire me, teach me and show me how to be a better person each in their own distictive way. Kim Namjoon has taught me what maturity is and what it means to be a leader, Kim Seokjin has taught me that there is nothing wrong with being self-confident, Min Yoongi has shown me what it means to be brave and hardworking, Jung Hoseok has taught me to look at the bright side of every situation, Park Jimin has shown us what it means to love and value those around you, Kim Taehyung has shown me it’s ok to be yourself and that there is nothing wrong with doing what you love and Jeon Jungkook taught me to always do my best. BTS has taught me to never give up, to love and accept myself and to reach for my dreams.

Since discovering BTS in February I have become more forgiving, more confident, more willing to take risks, more creative and have more self-love then I have in longer than I can even remember.

But above all else, through BTS I have received the one thing in 2020 that I needed more than anything, something that I had been praying for for so long…friendship. I have made more friends through this community than I have in years. Friendship is not something that has ever really come easily to me, especially in my adult years. With a personality that is simultaneously shy and overtly needy, I’ve never really been able to establish and sustain a meaningful, long term friendship. I saw a quote the other day that said that sometimes you meet someone who is a once-in-a-lifetime find that you need to hold on tightly to. Through social media and because of BTS I can say with certainty and insurmountable happiness that I have met that kind of person. We have become fast friends gushing daily over our shared love for BTS and reading, talking about all aspects of life, laughing and crying together, and sharing eerily similar personalities. Of all the good things to come out of 2020 my friendship with Rae is easily the best, the answer to a long time prayer.

On March 14th I was suddenly called into work for a meeting with my boss. Being that it was a Saturday and I worked in an HR office that had only every operated on weekdays I knew that something bad was happening. I spent the next 3 and a half months partially on paid leave and partially working from home. It’s hard to remember that everything happens for a reason and to have faith when you are right in the thick of it. But God has given me this reminder over and over this year. When I was let go from my HR position after more than 7 years with the company we were instantly fearful that I would be unable to find a new position and that we would quickly burn through our savings. But God showed us his faithfulness over and over again during these months. With unemployment being the joke that it is and the amount of people looking for jobs being astronomical we weren’t sure what was going to happen. But continually over those 2 months that I wasn’t working we were blessed with unforeseen funds and financial assistance. By the grace of God we were able to make it through that time without unemployment assistance and without having to take more than $1000 from our savings.

But the biggest blessing came in the form of my new job, God indeed knew where he was leading me. For years I have been praying for a job that would allow me to work from home and finally thanks to my new position with United Health Care that has been made a reality. When I was let go from Station Casinos in August I had no idea that God would use this situation to lead me down a path that I had been praying about for years.

This year has shown me over and over again that good can come out of every situation. That even a year as bittersweet at this one can end with so many good memories. It has by no means been an easy year but it has been a good one and I am so grateful for that.

Every year for the last several years I have chosen a word to guide my goals and actions for the year and 2021 will be no different. I accomplished so many things in 2020 and I want to go into 2021 with that same sense of purpose, ambition and creativity.

My word for 2021 is Bulletproof. In using this word in 2021 I will block out stereotypes, criticism, and the expectations of others and be true to who I am and learn to love myself.